*We open in Ma Kelly's living room. We see a paper airplane fly across the room. Sach sits on one side of the room. Danny sits on the other, preparing his paper airplane for flight. Duke sits on the couch, reading the newspaper.*
Sach: (He holds up his) Prepare for your bomber to be brought down in flames by my B-52!
Danny: Uh-uh! My 747's gonna knock your B-52 out of the sky!
Duke: (Makes a face) Can't you two do somethin' constructive?
Sach: We are doin' somethin' constructive! We're usin' up all of Ma's old newspapers!
Danny: Yeah! We're recycling!
Duke: I don't think throwin' her newspapers all over the floor was what Ma had in mind when she said for you to use them up.
Sach: Don't be such a spoil sport!
Danny: We'll pick them up.
Ma: (She comes in, holding a broom and a piece of paper) Hi there, boys. (Shakes her head at the airplanes, then hands Danny the paper) Danny, this telegram just arrived for you.
Danny: A telegram for me? *starts to read it*
Sach: Oooh, a telegram! Who's it from?
Duke: I hope it's good news.
Ma: Maybe it's about a job, so you can pay the rent.
*Danny's eyes widen as he reads. When he finishes, he looks up, eyes still wide. The telegram slips from his fingers.*
Duke: Dan, what is it? (Picks up the telegram)
Danny: I...I...I...
Sach: (Shakes Dan's shoulder) Are you ok? If you're arrested, we'll find you the best mouthpiece we can afford!
Danny: *Shakes his head* No. The King of Ostrania wants me to sing for his coronation!
Duke: A king?
Ma: Since when do you know a king?
Sach: Wow, a real king!
Danny: I met him about a year ago at a charity event I was singing at. *shrugs* He'd taken a liking to me, but I never thought I'd actually hear from him!
Sach: You met a real king. The last time we did that, we had to rescue him from a revolution.
Duke: Are you sure he's a real king?
Danny: *Nods* I'm positive.
Sach: Gee, I sure wish we could go with ya. Dukey can sing.
Duke: Yeah, but I don't sing like our pal Dan here. (Thinks) Hm. Do you think the king would mind you having managers?
Ma: Boys, how do you plan on going with him?
Danny: He might be okay with that.
Duke: (Grins) Great! What an opportunity!
Sach: Yeah! I've been to London and to Paris, but never to Ostrania! Is it a nice country?
Danny: The King spoke highly of it. I looked it up after...it's also a very small country, but that doesn't really matter.
Ma: I ain't never heard of it. Is it one of those countries that just sort of popped up recently?
Danny: *Nods* Yeah, it's off of Poland, about the size of Rhode Island.
Sach: Is it real excitin', like those little countries in the movies with castles and sword fights n' everythin'?
Duke: Well, we're gonna find out, right?
Danny: Sure looks like it.
(Fade out on the trio and Ma. Fade in on the exterior of a huge, two-story log building in the middle of the woods. Cut to inside. The large room has log and stone walls with furniture mostly made of logs. There's a big stone fireplace with a painting of the woods over it in the back of the room. We hear voices from outside, and Danny, Sach, and Duke enter. Sach wears his "hunting" outfit from "Loose In London." Duke wears his usual suit and fedora.)
Sach: Yipes, and away! Tally-ho, and all that rot. (Looks around) Wow! Get a load of this place!
*Danny wears his all-gray suit and matching shoes.*
Danny: *Glances around* Wow...
Sach: I love this place! (Sniffs) It smells like royalty!
Duke: This is a nice joint. It's great to know that kings are doing well these days.
Danny: And that they're willing to share it.
Duke: I wonder where the King is? He was supposed to meet us here, right?
Sach: (Waves it off) He's gonna be crowned. I'll bet he has a hundred things to do.
*The main door opens, and a group of decorated men enter the lodge. Behind them, a man dressed in tasteful maroon garb with a white sash over one should enters. The man is tall, thin, and has wavy red hair.*
Man #1: Announcing the King of Ostrania!
*Danny grins, awaiting the reactions of his friends.*
Sach: (His mouth drops open; the King looks exactly like Danny) Wow! You two... (He points back and forth between the two men)
Duke: Danny, I didn't know you had relatives living here.
Danny: As far as I know, I don't.
King Josef: Sorry, we're no relations. It's just a trick of fate that we're both so handsome.
Duke: (Mutters to Sach) And so egotistical. (Sach snickers)
King Josef: (Nods at the two men behind him) Oh, and these gentlemen are the most trusted members of my cabinet. Meet Lord Charelton Von Hessian and General Karl Kalstoff.
General: (Nods) Pleased to meet you.
Lord Charelton: (Short bow) King Josef has spoken highly of both of you.
Danny: Thank you for the invitation, Your Highness.
King Josef: You're welcome. I saw you perform at that charity event. I was extremely impressed. You're quite a singer. (Nods at Duke and Sach) And who are these two fine gentlemen?
Danny: These are my good friends. The one with the fedora is Duke, and the one ready to go hunting is Sach.
Duke: (Bows for the King) Nice to meet you, Your Highness. We're Danny's managers.
Sach: Yeah! We make sure he sings on time and that we all get to share the profits.
King Josef: (Nods) And there will be profits. You'll be well-paid for performing at my coronation.
Duke: When is this coronation, anyway?
King Josef: It's tomorrow afternoon. The coronation ball is later that night. I know that's not much time to prepare, but I think Danny can handle it.
Danny: Of course I can handle that!
King Josef: (Frowns) I just hope this coronation comes off.
Lord Charelton: I'm sure Michael and Rupert wouldn't dare try anything at the coronation, Sire!
Duke: Michael and Rupert?
Danny: What do you mean?
King Josef: (Makes a face) My half-brother and his head man. Michael would do anything to see himself on the throne...and Rupert is clever enough to put him there.
Sach: Oh, one of those bad guys.
Danny: Why?
King Josef: Well, he has this funny idea that he belongs on the throne and not me. Something about his mother being closer to the real heir than my parents. (Shrugs)
Danny: Is that all?
General: Gentlemen, this must not be taken lightly. Prince Michael has his own garrison...included his own deadly trusted servants. He may try anything to become king. Including killing those who stand in his way.
Sach: (Gulps) Do we stand anywhere near his way?
General: If he mistakes your friend here for the King...yes.
Sach: Ooop! (He ducks behind Danny and Duke) Then I'm not standing anywhere close to the King!
Danny: *Eyes widen* What about me!?
King Josef: (He laughs) Oh, General, come now. My brother surely wouldn't try something so close to the coronation, and with foreign guests around!
General: I'm not so sure...
King Josef: (Laughs again and puts his arm around Danny) Why don't we discuss this over a good dinner? I'm having a good beef brisket and with roasted potatoes, broccoli, carrots, and applesauce prepared for us as we speak!
Danny: *Grins* I'm all for that, Your Highness!
Sach: Oop, you said "dinner." Bring it on!
Duke: Well, that'll make those two happy.
(Cut to the dining room. Like the main room, it's huge, with a long wooden table that can seat many people. Right now, it only seats the King, Danny, Sach, Duke, Lord Charleton, and General Kalstoff. The men are eating a large beef brisket and laughing over some joke Danny told.)
King Josef: (He laughs loudest of all) You sure can tell great ones, Dan!
Danny: Awe, it's nothing, Your Highness.
King Josef: (Sighs) I might as well reveal that this is something of a bachelor party as well. I'll be announcing my marriage at the coronation ball tomorrow.
Danny: Wow! Oh, that's great!
Sach: (Grabs the King's hand and pumps it) Well, congratulations! Is she pretty? Is she really nice?
Duke: Congrats, your highness. Who's the lucky woman?
King Josef: (Smiles) Princess Deborah. A distant cousin. She's said to be very beautiful. I haven't seen her since we were children.
Danny: Aw, it's like a fairy tale.
King Josef: I just hope she likes me. As I recall, we didn't get along very well when we were kids. She was always nagging me to come out and ride horses and climb trees with her. I felt like she was more of a man than I was!
Danny: I get that feeling a lot.
Servant: (A small man in an apron comes out with a large brown jug covered with netting) Your highness, we just received this bottle of wine. According to the tag, it's from your brother Michael.
Duke: (Frowns) Sounds fishy to me.
King Josef: Splendid! I knew he'd come around eventually. (Nods) Pour the wine, man! Everyone can have some!
Sach: That's ok. I'm happy eatin'. (Returns to his beef)
Duke: I'll have a glass or two. (His is filled)
Danny: *Shakes his head* Sorry, Your Highness, but I get light-headed if I even look at alcohol.
General: I'll have a glass, Josef.
Lord Charelton: As will I. (The servant pours them all wine)
Duke: (Sips his) Hey, this is really good stuff. Must be a good vintage.
King Josef: I'll have some more of that. (Pours himself some) It's unbelievable that my brother would let such a fine quality wine go from his stores.
Danny: Maybe it's his way of calling a truce.
Duke: (Grins) Best truce I ever tasted.
King Josef: If more truces were called like this, there would be fewer wars.
Danny: Gee, I'm almost wishing I could have some of it.
King Josef: Then try it! (Hiccups) It's great! I'm gonna have more. (He pours himself some more)
Lord Charelton: (He puts his head in his hand) I think I'll stop. I'm feeling a bit woozy.
General: (Nods...but his eyes are fluttering) I'm feeling rather sleepy myself.
Duke: (Yawns a little) Nahh, I'm good for another couple of rounds.
Danny: *Shakes his head, noticing something odd going on* No, thanks, I'm still gonna pass.
Sach: (Holds a huge slice of beef out to Danny) Want some? There's still plenty.
Danny: Thanks, Sach! *takes the slice of beef*
King Josef: (As Lord Charelton's head thumps on the table) That poor boy never could hold his liquor. (He drinks more...then pours himself another glass)
Danny: *Eyes widen* Gee, Your Highness, you handle your liquor rather well.
King Josef: (Big yawn; then) Thanks. I can drink barrels of our best-quality wine without stopping for days.
Duke: (Yawns) My kind of guy.
Danny: Oh. *frowns, still thinking something odd is going on*
(Sach is too busy eating to pay attention to anything the others are doing.)
General: (Yawns) I'm so tired...something...not right... (He finally lays his head on his arms and goes to sleep.)
King Josef: (Very big yawn) That's not like the...General, though. He can usually...hold a drink or two.
Duke: (He yawns) I feel so sleepy. Must be jet lag... (But he ends up passing out on the table.)
Sach: I knew Dukey wasn't as good with drinkin' as he always said he was.
King Josef: They're... (huge yawn) amatures.... (But he finally falls out of the chair and lands on the floor, snoring heavily)
Sach: (Looks at the King, then at Danny) Was he supposed to do that?
Danny: *Jumps up* Oh no, I THOUGHT something weird was going on! *goes to the King and slaps his cheek* King Josef? Josef, can you hear me?
(But the King just continues to snore.)
Sach: (Winces) Yeah, it's weird all right. Did you hear your double snore?
Danny: *Nods* Yeah, he's snoring. *sighs* We can't leave them here, Sach. We really should move them somewhere more comfortable.
Sach: How about the main room? I ain't draggin' Dukey upstairs.
Danny: *Nods* That's fine with me. *starts to heft the King* I hope they're gonna be okay...
Sach: (Lifts Duke) Yeah. Maybe ought to take a look at that bottle while they're out. There has to be something weird going on. I know darn well Duke's good at holding his liquor, better n' Chiefy.
Danny: *Nods* I think you'd better. Besides, you're the chemical genius.
Sach: Well... (grins) Yeah, I am.
(Cut back to the dining room. It's now empty. The other four are sleeping away in the living room. Two servants, an older woman and a younger man, clear the dishes as Sach and Danny enter._
Sach: (He takes the jug) It all started when they drank from this bottle. (He takes a sniff...and frowns) It's all gone now, but I definitely smell somethin' not right. (Hands Danny the jug) Smell that.
Danny: *Smells it; his eyes roll and he groans* Oh boy, I can't even smell it without getting a contact high. *pushes the bottle away* What do you think it is, Sach?
Sach: I can't pronounce the name that well, but I do know it's a really strong sedative...a drug for puttin' ya to sleep for a few centuries.
Danny: *Groans* Oh, that's just wonderful. *pauses, then his eyes slowly widen* Sach, what if Josef doesn't wake up in time for his coronation?
Sach: (Eyes widen) But he's gotta! What about his brother, n' all that?
Danny: This is awful!
Sach: You know, you look like him. Maybe you could do it?
Danny: Me? T-take th-the K-King's p-place?
Sach: (Nods) We'll have to put it past the other guys, but I think you can do it! You're an actor, and ya look like him, right?
Danny: *Swallows hard* Y-Yeah, I g-guess so...
Sach: Great! (Slaps Danny on the back) Let's see if we can wake up those other lumps sleepin' in the livin' room and see what they say.
Danny: *Stumbles from the slap; gulps* Why me?
Sach: 'Cause I don't look like him. I'd make a really lousy redhead. (He puts his arm around Danny's shoulders) Let's go tell the other guys my great idea! (We fade out as they head for the living room)