(We open aboard a fairly fancy train. Sheila Saunders, Wallace, Sally, Slip, Sach, and Chuck sit in a large, luxurious compartment. Chuck is interviewing Sheila. Sally chats with Sach and Slip. Wallace just watches Sheila and Chuck and says nothing.)

Sally: (Smiles) So this is your first trip anywhere beyond Bowery Canyon since coming east!

Sach: Yeah! We ain't been beyond the canyon in... (Looks at Slip) How long has it been?

Slip: A long time.

Sally: I can't wait to get to California! I've never been there. I hope we get to see the ocean!

Slip: I'd be happy to see any kinda water. *smiles at Sally* But as long as yer there, I don't care what there is for water.

Sally: That's sweet.

Sach: (Mutters) You two are startin' to make my teeth itch.

*Slip just elbows Sach.*

Sally: (Looks up) How's your interview coming, Chuck? Miss Saunders?

Sheila: Very well, thank you. (To Chuck) What else would you like to know?

Chuck: Will you be doing any hiring?

Sheila: Absolutely. In fact, we're on our way to pick up some new recruits right now.

Chuck: Are there going to be any changes on how criminals will be handled?

Sheila: Yes. They're too soft on criminals in this town. They will be tried, and if found guilty, executed.

Sach: Executed? You mean, like killed?

Sheila: Oh, not the minor offenses, of course. Petty thieves and other small offenses will be handled according to the law.

Slip: Well, that's good to hear.

Sheila: But we can't let these thieves and bandits and other criminals take over our territory! We have to show them that we're the ones who are in charge!

Sach: (Whispers to Slip) It sounds like she's readin' that outta one of the western magazines or somethin'.

*Slip nods, but he isn't buying a word she's saying.*

Sheila: (She yawns and stands) Is that all, young man?

Chuck: Just one last thing. Your thoughts on the Lone Disarrangers.

Sheila: (Narrows her eyes) I will find out who they are. Make no mistake. One of these days, they are going to make a mistake, and I'll be there when they do. They're nothing but meddling fools.

Chuck: But they done nothing but good for the town!

Sheila: They meddle. If our law enforcement were half as good as they're supposed to be, there wouldn't be any need for them!

Slip: Now hold on, there...

Sheila: If our Sheriff and her so-called deputies did their jobs, there wouldn't be any criminals at all!

Slip: You wanna repeat that? *taps one ear* I hear better outta this one.

Sach: Uh, Chiefy, maybe we'd better be nice to this lady who is our (into his "good" ear) BOSS!

*Slip cringes at Sach's loud voice right in his ear.*

Slip: *Turns to Sach* If you lost yer voice it's in my ear!

Sally: (Narrows her eyes right back at Sheila) Well, you're not MY boss. I think you're jealous. The Lone Disarrangers have a better track record than any of your lawmen!

Sheila: I don't trust men who run out on the scene of the crime before they can be thanked.

Sally: Maybe it's (thoughtful) none of anyone's business who they are. Maybe they don't want people trying to run them out of town. Maybe they just want their privacy.

Slip: Why don't ya consider what the little lady's sayin', huh?

Sheila: I AM going to find out who they are, no matter what you say. Make no mistake about that. (Turns to Chuck) And you can print that in your newspaper in bold letters.

Chuck: *Nods* Yes, ma'am.

Slip: I think yer makin' a big mistake.

Sally: Leave them alone. They're doing nothing but good.

Sheila: That remains to be seen. (She flounces off just as Mama - now wearing a dress with her six-shooters - and Louie appear.)

Louie: What got into her?

Sally: She has it in for the Lone Disarrangers.

Mama: She's still goin' on about them?

Slip: Yeah, and she ain't got nutin' good to say about them.

Mama: I don't get it. They ain't done nuthin' wrong!

Louie: If you ask me, there's just something screwy about her. How did she get that Marshal job? She doesn't look like she's ever caught a cold in her life, much less bandits!

Slip: That's the sixty-four dollar question.

Sally: I think we ought to watch her. I'll bet she's up to something.

Louie: Yeah, but what? What could she want with our little town, and why pick on the Lone Disarrangers?

Mama: I agree with Sally. She bears watchin'. There's somethin' really wrong here.

Slip: *Folds his arms* I knew that as soon as I saw her.

Mama: I'm gonna call the capital in Carson City as soon as we get to California and get to the bottom of this. It's too sudden. In the meantime, I want the rest of you to keep a close eye on her and that bodyguard of hers. Stick as close to her as you can without bein' obvious.

Sally: If you can do something without being obvious.

Slip: You ain't seen nutin' yet, Sal.

(Sally, Chuck, Sach, and Slip enter the parlor car. Sheila sits on the other end, enjoying what looks like lunch with Wallace.)

Sally: (Grins) You boys hungry?

Sach: Oh boy! I'm always hungry!

Slip: Starvin'.

Sally: Come on. (She puts her fingers to her lips) But quietly. Let's take this table over here. That way, we can see them, but they really can't tell it's us.

(They sit down at the afore-mentioned table. A waiter comes up with menus.)

Waiter: Hello, everyone. Would you like to start with a drink?

Sach: Oh boy, oh boy! I want a ginger ale!

Sally: Just a cup of tea.

Slip: Ginger ale, heavy on the ginger.

Waiter: (To Chuck) And what about you, sir? A ginger ale?

Chuck: Yes, thank you.

Waiter: Very well. I'll bring your drinks back shortly. (He heads off. Sach looks over his shoulder at Sheila and Wallace.)

Sach: I sure wish we knew what they were sayin'.

Sally: Probably something nasty about the Lone Disarrangers.

Sally: I wish I knew what she has against them!

Slip: I wonder if she's as up and up as she says she is.

Chuck: She's either on the up and up, or she's lying through her teeth.

Sally: I wonder if she knows the Black Falcon?

Sach: Why would she know a bad guy if she's got a good guy's job?

Sally: Corruption, Sach. Or maybe she's just a bored socialite who needs a hobby.

Sach: She needs better hobbies.

Slip: For once, I have to agree wit' Sach.

Waiter: (Brings them their drinks) Here you are, everyone. Shall I take your orders?

(But before anyone can say a word, there's the sounds of gunshots outside!)

Sally: Bandits!

Slip: Now what?

Sach: Uh, Chief...I think we have to go to the bathroom. Now.

Slip: I think so, too. *gives Sach a push* Go! G-double-oh!

Sach: I'm goin'!

Sally: Go get Mama! (She pulls out her gun) Chuck n' me will hold 'em off.

(Sach and Slip hurry off just as four men with bandanas over their mouths climb aboard. They're carrying guns and bags.)

Bandit #1: Ok, everyone hand over the look, and no one gets hurt.

Sheila: I'll complain to the management of this train about this abomination!

Chuck: *Pulls a small gun hidden inside his jacket* Hold it right there!

Bandit: (Points the gun at Sheila, Wallace, and the waiter) You shoot, and we shoot them.

(Wallace pulls out his own gun and aims to shoot, but one of the bandits grabs it from his hand.)

Sheila: You give that back!

Wallace: Watch it, buddy.

Chuck: Looks like we have ourselves a stand-off.

Bandit #3: And there's more of us. There's two more guys taking over the train from the conductor right as we speak.

Chuck: *Gulps* And you think you're going to get away with this? :

Bandit #1: (He grabs Sheila's jewelry) Who's gonna stop us?

(That's when a whip flicks out of the shadows! It slaps the hand of the bandit, who drops Sheila's jewelry.)

Sach: (He comes in first) Naughty, naughty! That belongs to the lady!

*Two gun shuts are heard in succession. Both bandits' guns go flying out of their hands.*

Slip: *Appears next to Sach* Sorry I had to do that, fellas. Next time, make it a little more difficult. *He spins his gun and blows on the barrel of it.* Care to see another symphony of my gun work?

Bandit #1: (Clutches his hands) You're those Lone Disarrangers!

Bandit #2: You ain't goin' no place this time! You've gotta get our buddies in the front of the train first! (He grabs Sheila's jewels and hurries off, his friend still clutching the hand Slip shot)

Slip: Buddies in front of the train?

Chuck: They've got more guys with the conductor.

Sheila: You two! You're the Lone Disarrangers! Go get my jewels this instant!

Slip: That was our contention. Whadaya think we're gonna do?

Sheila: If you're real lawmen, you won't stand around talking about it! (She gives Slip a push) Move! Or else I'll finally arrest you!

Slip: Listen, lady, we don't take no orders from anyone! Now shuddup and let us work!

Sheila: "Woik?" That sounds familiar...

Sach: Uh, let's get goin'! (He pushes Slip away) You too, Chuck. Sally, you say with Miss Saunders and the bad guy.

*Chuck nods.*

Sheila: No, wait, I want to ask you a few... (but they disappear before she can finish) questions.

(Cut to the boys running on top of the trains outside. Sach frowns at Slip.)

Sach: Chief, do ya think she knows?

Slip: *Shakes his head* I dunno. I didn't like her sayin' what I said sounded familiar.

Sach: You gotta stop talkin' 'round people.

Slip: You oughta stop talkin'!

Sach: Well, if you didn't sound so much like yourself when you talk! Nobody recognizes me!

Slip: She didn't get the chance to comment on you!

Sach: That's because I don't sound like me around her! I sound like a different...hey! (He runs into Chuck) Someone give me the number of that back?

Chuck: While you two were busy arguing, I saw the engineer and his crew being held up! *points ahead of them*

Sach: Yikes! Come on! (Chuck and Slip jump onto two of the guys attacking the engineer and his crew. Sach wraps the third up in his whip and sends him into the coal scuttle!)

Sach: (Points to the two crewmembers) You guys go get the Sheriff lady! Now! (They do so. The engineer helps Chuck with one of the men.)

Sach: (Sees one of the men has a gun) Chief, watch out!

Slip: What...

Sach: Chief, move! (He pulls Slip away before the gun can hit his chest...but it still goes past his arm) Chief! Chief, are you hurt!?

Slip: *Yelps and grabs him arm* It's nutin'... *grimaces* Just a flesh wound, is all.

Sach: (Looks out of the cab) Aw, the bad guys jumped on horses and got away!

Slip: *Holding his arm* Good. Better they left before I really got angry!

Chuck: *Joins them* At least they didn't get away with what they were planning.

Sach: But they did get away. Mama's not going to like that, and neither will that Sheila lady.

Slip: I can hear her screamin' at us already...and then it'll be Mama's turn.

Sach: I guess we oughta go face the musicians.

Slip: Let’s get this over with.