(We open with a long shot of a typical "Old West" town. The camera moves over to "Louie's Long-Branch Saloon." We hear music and see cowboys and ranchers coming out. The camera moves in to show a lively crowd chatting, drinking, and card-playing to Butch's lively tunes on the piano. Louie - sans mustache this time - hands out drinks. Sally, in a cowgirl's costume, is the waitress.)

*We see Slip and Sach dressed in white western garb enter through the swinging doors & head toward the bar.*

Sally: (Sighs) Hello, boys. Running errands for Mama again?

Slip: Always. If Mama ain't happy, nobody's happy, and there ain't anyone nobodier than us.

Sally: I wish she wouldn't be so hard on you two.

Slip: We are the deputi.

Sally: Honestly, when are you two going to do something with yourselves?

Slip: We are doin' som'en! We're gettin' Mama her afternoon snack.

Sally: That's not what I mean. I never see you catching rustlers or outlaws. I never see you do anything besides loiter here or at the jail. Why can't you be more like...like those Lone Disarrangers? They're local heroes! They've caught more rustlers, outlaws, and crooked gamblers than you two have in your entire lives! The Indians think they're magical spirits!

Slip: You know why we don't do more of that? Because they don't leave us no one to catch!

Sally: Well, maybe if you'd do your jobs, you might find out who they are! They take off every time, without even so much as a "how'd ya do?"

Slip: Perhaps they simply don't have much to say, hmmmm?

Sally: Given everything they've done for this town, you'd think they'd at least give their names. (Sighs) I wish I knew who they were. I want to thank them, especially the smaller one. He seems so daring, so...so brave...

Slip: *Clears his throat* Sally...

Sach: ("Accidentally" steps on Slip's foot) Oop! Sorry, Chiefy. My silly foot just doesn't know where to go!

Sally: Slip, are you ok?

Slip: *Yelps and grabs his foot; to Sach* You crazy moron, I oughta... *Sucks it up and turns back to Sally. He’s still wincing, but puts his foot down* Fine, just fine.

Sach: (Mutters to Slip) You almost gave us away! And you're always yellin' 'at me 'cause I gotta big mouth!

Slip: *Mutters back to Sach* Did you hear what she were sayin' about me?

Sach: Yeah, but I didn't believe a word of it.

*Slip starts to reach for Sach's throat when the swinging doors bang open again.*

*We see Gabe enter, wearing an all-black gambler's outfit.*

Sally: (Goes to him) May I help you, sir? Would you like something to drink?

Gabe: *Nods* I'll take a scotch, honey.

Sally: Certainly, Mr...

Gabe: Just call me Gabe.

Sally: (Nods) Ok, Gabe. Follow me. Uncle Louie will get you your drink. (She leads him to the bar) Here you go, Uncle. New customer. (As she joins him behind the bar) He wants a scotch, Uncle.

Louie: (Nods) Then he'll get a scotch. (As he pours the drink) You're new in these parts, aren't you? I've never seen you here before.

Gabe: I’m new around here. Just got in, as a matter of fact.

Louie: Then allow me to give you a hearty welcome. How long will you be in town?

Gabe: For an undetermined amount of time as of right now.

Louie: Then you'll need a place to stay. The Home Sweet Home Hotel across the street has some wonderful rooms. Low rates, too.

Gabe: Ah, very good. Thank you, bartender. I appreciate the help. I have a very poor sense of direction. Perhaps I could borrow the lovely young lady *glances at Sally* to show me the way to the Hotel?

Louie: If she wants. Sally! (She comes over) Would you take this young man across the street and show him the way to the hotel?

Sally: (Smiles and takes his arm) Why, I'd be glad to!

Slip: It's right across the street! Even Sach can find it!

Sach: Find where?

Gabe: *Ignores the boys* Thank you, kind lady. *The pair head out to the Hotel.*

Slip: *takes a few steps towards the door, shaking a fist* Why, that creep...

Louie: (Shrugs) Now now, Slip. She's a grown girl. She can choose her own men.

Slip: She don't even know that guy, Louis! She knows me!

Sach: Yeah, she knows 'ya all around!

Slip: *Turns, making a face* Then what's that guy got that I don't?

Sach: About three inches and an actual waist?

Slip: *Steps up to Sach, fuming, but suddenly smiles* I'm goin' to forget that crack, and y'know why? Because the source of it was that guy, and he's the one I don't like. There's som'en about him...

Sach: Yeah. You think he's a bad guy?

Slip: There's no way he can be that smooth a talker and not be a bad guy.

Sach: Yeah! The guys who talk nice are always bad guys!

Louie: (Shakes his head) He didn't seem that bad to me, fellas. Just because he wears black doesn't mean he's a bad man.

Sach: Oh, yeah? Well, the bad guys always wear black in the penny dreadfuls.

*Slip and Sach head outside, toward the hotel, but they're stopped by a young man in a three-piece suit and a bowler hat.*

Sach: Chuck, my boy! How are you? (Leans over and whispers) What have you heard about Mr. Big?

Chuck: I've heard some rumblings, and nothing good.

Sach: Yeah? Any stagecoaches or trains gonna be robbed?

Chuck: Nothing on that front. Actually, I haven't heard anything specific. That's what makes it so bad.

Slip: Nutin' specific, huh?

Chuck: Sorry, fellas. *pauses* Say, who was that fella walkin' with Sally? I thought you liked her, Slip.

Slip: Some new guy what just breezed into town wit' a smooth vocabulary.

Sach: Yeah! He talked some sweet talk to Sally, and she just walked off with him to show him the hotel.

Chuck: That's tough. Sorry about that, Slip.

Slip: Eh, you didn't know...

Sach: Chiefy almost told Sally about...you know what.

Slip: She was gettin' me riled up.

Chuck: *Smirks* She doesn't have to do much to do that to you, Slip.

Sach: Chiefy's in love with Sally!

Slip: *Swats at Sach* So what if I am?

Chuck: It ain't like you're ever actually gonna tell her anyway.

Slip: I've had enough lip from the both of you.

(Just as the boys enter the hotel, we hear gunshots outside. A group of men in ragged denim, their faces covered with bandanas and cowboy hats and bowlers, storm into the room. They carry guns and burlap sacks.)

Sach: (Eyes widen) Look, Chiefy! A robbery!

Sally: I have to go get my aunt! (Turns to Slip and Sach) Well, don't just stand there! Do something!

Slip: This is all we was missin'.

Robber #1: (Turns to the mousy hotel clerk) Ok, pal, hand over all the money in the till, or I'll blow you away.

Clerk: Yessir! (He proceeds to do so)

Robber #2: (Turns his gun to Sally and Gabe) Ok, slick boy and pretty lady, you two hand over all your valuables, or you'll lose those pretty faces of yours.

Sally: If you think I'm going to do what you say...

Sach: (Mutter to Slip and Chuck) I think we'd better make our exits and go get some help, if ya know what I mean.

Slip: *Mutters* Routine 3, backwards.

Sach: (Nods) Right.

Gabe: Yes sir! *Hands over his money, pocket watch, and other assorted belongings.*

Slip: *Eyes widen as they sneak out* Tell me I didn't just see what I thought I saw.

Sach: Yeah! That guy is more of a coward than I am!

Sally: (Narrows her eyes at Gabe) You're just going to give in to them?

Gabe: They have the guns!

Robber #1: (As the other robbers take the valuables from the clerk and the other people in the room) He's a smart man.

Slip: C'mon, Sach, let’s go.

(Slip and Sach back quietly out of the hotel backwards...and behind the hotel...)

Robber #2: (He stops at Chuck) What about you, kid? Hand over your valuables, or else.

Chuck: *turns out his pockets; they're empty; shrugs* I'm a newspaper reporter.

Robber #2: (Points the gun at him) Then we're just gonna have to blow you away. You, then the tall guy. And maybe we'll keep the little cutie.

Sally: (She pulls out her own gun) Look, my aunt is the sheriff here, and...

*Suddenly, there's a shot, and the gun goes flying out of the second robber's hand. Another shot goes through the robber's hat. Slip and Sach reappear, now wearing red and black western outfits. Slip blows off the barrel of his gun, then twirls it, smirking ever so slightly.*

Sally: (Gasps, grinning) It's the Lone Disarrangers! (Points the gun at the robber) Now you're gonna get it.

Robber #1: (Whips around to the duo in the door) Ok, pal. Who are you?

Sach: (Snorts) He wants to know who we are, and the lady just said it!

Slip: He's not too smart, is he?

Robber #2: You're those guys who keep interrupting our work!

Slip: A very educated answer for a moron.

Robber #2: (Turns his gun on Sally and Gabe) All right, you guys get outta here, or these two are gonna...hey!

(A whip flies out and smacks the man's hand. Sach pulls it back, grinning.)

Sach: Now now, that's not a nice thing to point at a lady! (He hands it to Slip, then says to Sally) Miss, go get Sheriff Dumbrowski! We're gonna need her to round up these varmints.

Sally: (Nods) Yes, boys. (She rushes out as fast as she can)

Sach: (He whips Gabe's gun away from the robber and hands it back to him) I hope you know how to use that, son.

Gabe: *Nods* I do, thank you. *goes into a stance with his gun trained on the robbers*

Robber #3: (Turns his gun on Slip) You think you're so smart, Lone Disarranger? Our boss has their eye on you, and they don't like that you've been disruptin' their business.

Slip: Awe, they don't like what we're doin'? That's too bad.

Sach: (Nods at Chuck, then says) Wanna finish Routine 7?

Chuck: Would be happy to.

(All three jump on the remaining robbers. When Sheriff Dumbrowski - Gertrude "Mama" Dumbrowski, Louie's wife - comes in with Sally, Chuck, Slip, Sach, Gabe, and two of the male hotel clients have the robbers tied up with curtains.)

Mama: Nice work, boys. (Nods) I shouldn't be surprised to see you "Lone Disarrangers" here. Where are my boys, Slip and Sach?

Sally: They were here before. They probably ran off, those cowards!

Mama: Chuck, you and this tall fellow in black help me take these criminals back to the station. Sally, you give everyone their things back and see if you can find the boys. (Turns to Slip and Sach) Thank you for your help again, Disarrangers.

Slip: *Nods* You're welcome, Sheriff. And don't be too hard on those boys of yours. They tipped us off that they thought som'en fishy was gonna go on.

Mama: Well, I'd just like to know where they are right now.

Sach: Oh, they're close-by. They're so close, I think we can get them for you.

Slip: Matter of fact, we'll go get 'em right now.

Sally: (Takes Slip's arm) Don't leave! I want to know who you are. You're so brave, and I've never seen such an amazing shot.

Slip: *Grins* Go? Where was I goin'?

Sach: With me! (Grabs his arm) We're sorry, but we gotta go now. Bye! (He yanks Slip out the door)

Sally: I wish they'd stick around! I wonder what their hurry is?

Mama: Well, if they find those deputies of mine, tell them to meet me at the jail to help question these no-goods. (Nods at Chuck) And you can get an exclusive story for the Bowery Canyon Express-Times.

Chuck: *Nods* Thank you!

Mama: Any time. I want these people to know that we don't tolerate criminals like them in Bowery Canyon.

Sally: (She turns angrily to Gabe) Why weren't you more of a help? You had a gun. You could have done something!

Gabe: I'm afraid I'm not too brave in instances like that. I shoot for sport, not protection.

Sally: Some sport! What if they'd shot us?

Gabe: *Sighs* I don't know...

Sally: (She nods at the desk) This is the hotel. I hope you're very happy here. I'm going to go find Slip and Sach. (She storms out angrily.)

Gabe: But....

(Gabe finds himself talking to Sally's retreating back. Sally runs almost directly into Slip and Sach, now back in their original clothes.)

Sach: (As they all fall down) Oop! A train ran into us, Chief!

Sally: I'm not a train! Get offa me, you two!

Slip: Do we hafta?

Sally: Yes! You're heavy! Do you wanna squash me flat?

Slip: *Frowns a bit* No, I don't wanna do that. *lets Sally up*

Sally: Thanks. Where did you two run off to? You missed the Lone Disarrangers capturing the bank robbers! (Sighs) The little one was such an amazing shot. He shot the gun right out of one of the robber's hands! I wish I knew who he was.

*Slip slaps at Sach. Do som'en, before I open my big mouth!*

Sach: Oop! Well, why don't we go see how Mama's doin'? Maybe she could tell us sumtin' bout these bad guys. ;)

*Slip gives him one last slap. Thanks.*

Sally: (As they head for the jail) And that fellow in black turned out to be useless! He just handed them all his things when they threatened him. He was a no-good coward.

Slip: *Voice is a little higher than it should be* Really? That's a shame.

Sally: At least you guys are honest cowards.

Slip: Aren't we?

Sally: Yeah. (They enter the jail. It's one cinder block room with the jail cells in the back. There's three desks in the room. Mama's is the largest. Slip's is when you first come in. Sach's is next to a blackened window - it has the chemistry set on it. Mama shakes her head. Chuck is questioning the men who are now in the cells.)

Mama: Where did you boys go? I could have used your help, you know!

Slip: We went lookin' for the Disarrangers. Musta just missed 'em.

Sach: Yeah! We saw them goin' round the back of the hotel, but we couldn't catch up with them!

Sally: You could have helped us stop those robbers!

Mama: I still wanna catch those Disarrangers and give them a talking to. (Rubs her chin) And they look mighty familiar, too...

Slip: I'm sure you'll catch 'em someday, Mama.

Mama: I'm sure I will. I wanna know what they're up to. They've already caught five robbers and bandits in the area, but they keep runnin' out before I can really talk to them.

Slip: You don't think they're up to anythin' more than just nabbin' bad guys, do ya, Mama?

Mama: I ain't sure, but I aim to find out.

Sach: (Points to the robbers) What 'bout those guys?

Mama: Found out anything, Chuck?

Chuck: *Comes out of the cell, flipping his notebook closed* Very little.

Mama: Well, spill what you got, boy.

Chuck: All I got is that they're workin' for someone named the Black Falcon, an evil mastermind that sends their orders via telegram. They've never even seen him or her.

Slip: That narrows things down.

Sach: A girl mastermind! Wouldn't that be somthin'?

Sally: And why couldn't a girl be a mastermind?

Mama: Yeah!

Slip: I didn't say nutin'.

Mama: Sally, you go back to your uncle to help him with his place. I'm gonna stay with these boys until the marshal arrives to take them to Reno. Slip, you and Sach go see what you can round up in town about this "Black Falcon." Chuck, you'd better get to writin' that article, before your boss has your head.

Chuck: Yes, ma'am! Thank you! *heads out quickly*

Slip: C'mon, Sach, let’s go see what we can find out.