(We open back in the main room of the gym. There's a couple of big bodybuilder types like Rex using the machines. They all turn to the door when the Bowery Boys and Danny enter. Most of the guys wear old clothes or sweat suits.)
Sach: Oh boy! Look at this place! I can't wait to show that old jerk Rex how strong I am!
Danny: Why are they all staring at us?
Sach: Ain't they ever seen people before?
Butch: (As some of the men start chuckling) I don't think they like us much.
Chuck: Unfortunately, it looks like they think we're amusing.
Slip: *Snorts* We'll show 'em amusin'.
Bodybuilder #1: (Snorts) Sure you will, pal. You don't look like you could lift anything but a milkshake.
Chuck: *Grabs Slip's fist as it comes up* Slip, don't.
Sach: We'll show 'em! Come on, Chief. Let's show these jerks what we can do.
Slip: Gladly.
Sach: (Pushes past the bodybuilder) Step aside, weakling! (He grabs two pulleys from the wall and tries pulling them...but he can't. He struggles as hard as he can, but they won't budge.) What's with these things? Are they made of lead or somethin'?
Rex: (He comes out) What's going on out here? (Grins when he sees the boys) Ahh, gentlemen. Welcome back. I didn't know if you'd be coming.
Danny: *Grins, puffing out his chest* Of course we're back! We wanna work on our...uh...six packs!Yeah!
Bodybuilder #2: Six pack? That barely looks like a four ounce bottle.
Danny: *Returns to normal; looks down at himself* What?
Rex: Well, why don't we just see what all of these guys can do?
Slip: I s'pose ya got some things picked out for us.
Rex: (He indicates the rope) Who would like to try climbing the rope first?
Danny: Oh, can I do it?
Rex: Certainly. (Leslie comes out to watch as Danny approaches the rope.)
*Danny puts is hands out to grab the rope. He sees Leslie and pauses long enough to smile broadly and give her a little wave. He then starts the motions like he's going to jump up onto the rope. He counts to three and jumps upwards. The tall young man catches the rope, but he immediate slides down and up with his rear on the floor.*
(The bodybuilders burst into laughter. Leslie giggles. Sach and Slip help him to his feet.)
Slip: You okay, Dan?
Danny: Yeah, I'm alright. *looks at, then rubs his hands together* I think there's something on the rope!
Rex: You're imagining things, pal.
Danny: But... *he rubs his hands together; they slide easily*
Slip: *Steps up to Rex* I want the next one.
Rex: How about trying your merit with this? (He indicates a punching bag.)
Slip: Now, yer talkin'. *smirks at the punching bag, then strikes it; it doesn't give* What the...
*Slip punches it again, and there’s still no give. He punches twice. Nothing. He punches three times. Still nothing.* What the hell's wrong wit' this thing?
Rex: Maybe it ain't the equipment, shrimp.
Sach: My Chiefy is the strongest guy ever! He used to be a boxer, ya know.
Rex: He was, was he?
Slip: Damn good, too. *growls at the bag and punches quickly about a dozen times; he's breathing heavily, but the bag never moved*
Rex: Maybe you need a little work, old-timer.
*Slip growls at Rex. Chuck holds him back.*
Sach: (Mutters to Slip) Don't kill him, man! We've gotta ask him 'bout jobs, remember? We can't work for a dead guy.
Rex: What was that I heard about jobs?
Slip: *Pulls his arm from Chuck* We're lookin' for jobs, muscle-head.
Rex: (Smirks) Well, ya know, I might just have a place for you guys. You ever been in a show?
Sach: Are you kiddin'? We're all great actors, Butch plays the piano, Chief can dance like Fred Astaire, an' Danny does everythin' under the sun!
Rex: We're going to be appearing on a local morning show, the Good Morning New York! Show, in a couple of days. We could use guys like you to help advertise the gym.
Sach: TV? You're kidding, right?
Rex: TV, right in the most prominent morning spot, 10AM.
Danny: TV?! Oh!
Whitey: I've always wanted to be on TV!
Rex: Yeah. You'll come on before I talk to the hosts and help me advertise the gym and our diet food. Simple as that.
Chuck: It does sound rather simple.
Rex: So, what do you say, boys?
Sach: Oh please, please let me be on TV, Chief! I won't freeze up like when I was on Gabe's show, I promise!
Slip: *Frowns a bit, remembering that he fainted on Gabe's show* Alright. We'll do the show.
Rex: Great! Meet us at 9AM at the Olympia Theater uptown to rehearse our segment and get all the cues worked out.
Sach: (Hugs Slip) Oooh Chiefy, we're gonna be TV stars!
Slip: *Pushes Sach off of him* Saaach...
Rex: In the meantime, boys, feel free to use any part of the gym you want. It's all yours.
Sach: I'm gonna try those pulleys again. (He does...and still can't lift them, much to the amusement of the other bodybuilders.)
Butch: Hey Chuck, wanna use the sauna? Maybe we could sweat in a way that won't kill our muscles.
Chuck: *Nods* Yeah, Butch, let’s go check out the sauna.
Sach: Hey Danny, are you gonna work on the machines with me? (Struggles with the pulleys)
Danny: Yeah. I know I'm not playing with the rope again. It doesn't play fair.
Sach: (As he pulls, puffing) Geez...this...must...be...made...of...solid...steel! (He finally falls back against the wall and knocks himself out!)
(As Danny and Whitey hurry over to help him, Slip goes to check out the machine.)
Slip: Dammit. This thing's been rigged.
Danny: Just like the rope was greased.
Slip: *Nods* They're lookin' to make fools of us.
Sach: (Moans) Mommy, I wanna cookie...
Whitey: Sach is okay.
Sach: (Finally shakes his head and rubs his back) Ooh, my back. My back feels tender. Slip, do I still have a back? If I do, I think it's broken into a thousand pieces.
Slip: *Grunts* Yer okay, Sach. You ain't the only one not gonna work this thing. It's rigged to not move at all.
Sach: It's rigged? Why would anyone wanna do that?
Slip: To make us look like a buncha jackasses.
Sach: Jerks! What did we ever do to them?
Danny: We're not muscle-bound like they are.
Sach: I'll show 'em muscle! Where's that punchin' bag? I'll hit it so hard, it'll land in Brooklyn!
Slip: Don't bother, Sach. It's fulla water.
Whitey: What's it doing with water in it?
Sach: Yeah! Funny way to get a drink.
Slip: They rigged the bag, too. I knew it after my first punch, but I wanted ta play along.
Sach: But...why? They don't even like us!
Danny: That's it. They're just being bullies.
Slip: I'm curious about that TV show job.
Sach: We're gonna be on TV! I can't wait!
Slip: Sach, I'm doubtin' it's gonna be a good thing.
Sach: Then why would they want us to be on TV?
Slip: I dunno, but I'd like to find out.
Sach: There's gotta be a way we can find out what this guy is up to.
Slip: *Smirks* We could go check out his office.
Sach: Yeah! I'll bet he has all kinds of criminal stuff in there!
Slip: C'mon.
(Cut to in front of the office. Sach tries the door, but it's locked.)
Sach: Darn! I guess we ain’t gettin' in.
Whitey: Yes we are! *produces his tools*
Sach: That's right. Good ol' Whitey, the walkin' tool box!
*A few seconds pass before Whitey gets the door open. He stows his tool kit back in his pocket.*
(The office looks pretty much the same as it did the day before, with a few more piles of papers on the desk.)
Sach: (He goes to the desk) There's gotta be somethin' here that'll say what we're doin' on TV.
(Sach tosses papers all around the room as he searches through the pile on the top of the desk.)
*Slip checks out a filing cabinet. Danny looks on some shelves. Whitey checks the walls for hidden compartments.*
Sach: Aw, I give up! These are all just papers with numbers an' prices for the machines.
Slip: Sach, quit makin' a mess! We don't wanna be oblivious about searchin'.
Sach: Sorry, Chief! Here, I'll clean it up. (He starts picking up papers.)
Slip: You’d better. Anyone else findin' anything?
Whitey: Nothin', Chief.
Danny: I don't see anything.
Sach: (He's going through the papers...and frowns when he sees one) Hey, this looks like a script! Like somethin' someone would write for a play! (Shows it to Slip)
Slip: Lemme see that.
Sach: Sure, Chief. (Hands it to him.)
Slip: *Flips the script open* Lessee what we're dealin' wit'.
Sach: Do we have any good lines? (Makes a face) I hope this isn't like that play we all appeared in last November.
*Within moments, Slip's eyes narrow.*
Danny: I don't like the death grip he's sudden put on that script.
Sach: That bad, huh?
Slip: Dammit! *looks up from the script* They're doin' a before and after thing...and guess who's posin' as the befores?
Sach: Who?
Slip: Us!
Whitey: Oh boy...
Sach: Before and after what?
Slip: Before goin' to the gym an’ after bein' a member of the gym.
Danny: The musclemen are the afters. We play the out of shape befores!
Slip: You got it, Dan.
Sach: I ain't outta shape! I got a shape! Straight up n' down is a shape!
Danny: *Shakes his head* No, Sach, you, me, and Whitey are skinny to them.
Sach: What do they know? If I stuck a pin in those guys, they'd pop!
(That's when we hear voices behind the door.)
Sach: Oop! Chief, I think we're bein' invaded! How are we gonna get out?
Slip: Hide!
*The four guys scramble for hiding places. Whitey dives behind a couch. Slip gets into a closet. And Danny slides under the desk.*
Sach: Hey, wait up! (He looks around frantically...then manages to jump behind the file cabinet that's the furthest away from the desk just in time. A second after he does, Rex and Leslie come in.)
Rex: (He frowns) I swear we locked the door before we went out to talk to those idiots.
Leslie: I thought so, too.
Rex: (Frowns) I knew it. Look at this mess! (Points to the papers scattered on the floor) Someone's been in here.
Leslie: You don't suppose it was them, do you?
Rex: It's possible. Most of those guys are total morons, but that short one looked like he had half a brain. He kept giving me suspicious glares. I think he's onto us.
Rex: Help me clean these up. (He starts to pick up the papers)
Leslie: Sure. *also starts picking up papers*
*Danny peeks out from under the desk. Seeing Rex and Leslie distracted, he starts to crawl for the door.*
Rex: Did you hear something? (Looks up)
Leslie: What?
(Sach tries to wave Danny back over to him, but he pulls back behind the file cabinet when Rex looks his way.)
Rex: Maybe I've been working too hard, Leslie. I think I'm seein' things. I thought I saw that nut with the nose in here.
Leslie: *Slight grin* Especially if you're seeing THAT guy.
(Sach makes a face...and makes an even bigger one when he realizes that he needs to sneeze!)
Rex: (As he piles the papers) You know, I think the script I was looking at earlier is missing.
Leslie: The script is missing? Maybe it just got mixed in with everything else.
Rex: No, I've been through everything. It's not here.
(Sach sticks his finger in front of his nose. It works temporarily, to his relief...but the moment he moves it, he lets out a big sneeze!)
Rex: (Stands up) Who's there?
(Sach immediately ducks behind Rex the moment he turns his back.)
Rex: Leslie, did you sneeze?
Leslie: Not me!
Rex: There has to be SOMEONE here! (He turns around...just in time to miss Sach going out the door) Ok, someone left this room! The door is open! (Looks around) Is anyone else here?
*Whitey bolts from his spot behind the couch, launching himself out the door just before Rex and Leslie turn back that way. Slip peeks out carefully from the closet.*
Rex: This is getting ridiculous. If there's anyone else in here, I want them to show themselves now!
*Slip smirks and throws the closet door open, banging it against the wall.*
Slip: Here I am.
Rex: What are you doing in here?
Slip: *Pulls out the script* Wanted to see what we're gonna be doin' on that show.
Rex: You're not supposed to be in here. It was locked for a reason. And how did you get past that lock, anyway?
Slip: *Shrugs* Picked it.
Rex: You're lucky I don't arrest you. Give me my script back and get out of here.
Slip: *Throws the script at Rex* Catch.
(Rex catches the script as Slip flees the room. He growls.)
Rex: Damn it! I'll bet that little jerk read the script.
Leslie: You did say he appeared to be the smart one. And I don't think he was alone in here.
Rex: No. I know I heard SOMEONE sneeze...and it wasn't coming from the direction of the closet. We'll have to be careful. They may try to sabotage the show if they know what their parts are.
Leslie: They has to be something we can do to protect us from that...
Rex: (Smirks) We have the best protection around. Our boys will make sure they don't act up on the set.
Leslie: *Smirks* Of course we do.
Rex: Come on. Let's go tell the boys we're going to need them on the show.
(Cut to the hallway. As Rex and Leslie head out, the camera focuses on the door where the guys hid before. Sach, Danny, Whitey, and Slip step out from behind it.)
Sach: Sorry you got caught, Chiefy.
Slip: I wanted to get caught. I coulda snuck out easy, if I wanted to.
Sach: But why, Chiefy? That guy could have knocked you into next Tuesday? Do you know how hard it would be for me to get you back from next Tuesday?
Slip: An' lose the epitome to use me as a before? *shakes his head* I knew he wouldn't attack me.
Sach: What are we gonna do, Chief? I don't wanna be a before!
Slip: We make a mess of their TV show.
Sach: Oooh, that sounds like fun? How do we do that?
Slip: Whatever they tell us to do, we don't.
Sach: Oh, what we usually do.
Slip: C'mon. We'll get Chuck and Butch and get outta here, before those two muscle-heads decide to come after us.
Sach: Yeah. I don't wanna see what my head would look like squeezed under Rex’s arm.
(Fade out on the guys heading for the sauna.)