*We begin at Louie's. The boys have the day's newspaper spread out over a couple of tables. Slip reads the financial section. Sach has the comics. Whitey, Chuck, and Butch share the national section. Danny has the local section.*

Butch: (Points to an ad in the paper) Hey guys, did you hear about that new gym opening across the street?

Slip: *Snorts* I ain't got no use for a gym.

Sach: Yeah! What do we need a gym for? We're already well-stacked! (Flexes a skinny arm)

*Slip just snorts again and returns to his financials.*

Danny: *Puts his section down and shrugs* I wonder if it would do my bad back some good.

Butch: (Looks at his stomach) Maybe I could stand to lose a pound or two.

Chuck: *Turns to his friend and shakes his head* You look just fine, Butch.

Louie: (As he comes out to wipe tables) Gyms are nothin' but trouble. I ain't never gone into one in my life, an' I ain't startin' now.

Slip: *From behind the financials* You tell 'em, Louis.

Danny: *Shrugs* I'm sorta thinkin' about it.

Sach: But why, Danny? You've got a good body! It's almost the same as mine!

Danny: *As Slip snorts loudly* Like I said, it's more to see if it'll help my back. *shrugs* And I only said I'm thinking about it.

(Suddenly, a tall, shapely blond walks in. She wears a leotard, a skirt, a coat, a pair of tights, and a pair of black ballet flats. Louie takes one look at her and rushes over to her. She sits at the table next to the boys.)

Louie: What will you have, miss? We have ice cream sodas, an' tuna sandwiches, an' sundaes, an'....

Blonde: (Purrs) How about something with no mayo?

Louie: No mayo...something with no mayo.... (He stumbles into the back room) I can do that...

Sach: Whatsa matter with Louie?

Slip: Looks like he got his feathers ruffled.

Butch: (His eyes widen when he sees the girl; points at her) Chief, look at her! Ain't she a dish?

(Sach takes one look at her and his lips go.)

*Danny's jaw drops as he stares.*

Slip: Ain't she in the wrong place?

Chuck: Wow...

Woman: (Chuckles when she sees the boys) I take it you don't see girls much around here. (Stands and walks over) Would you mind it if I joined you?

Slip: One-a you guys give 'er yer chair.

*Danny quickly scrambles out of his chair and motions for the woman to sit, while grinning an overly wide and toothy grin.*

Woman: (Sits down) Why thank you. How sweet. (Smiles again) Do you all come in here often?

Sach: Are you kiddin'? We live here!

Butch: Well, we spend a lot of time here.

Woman: You look it. (She grins up at Danny) You're cute.

Danny: *Eyes widen* M-m-me?

*Slip smirks.*

Woman: Why don't you come back to the gym with me after my lunch break? (Turns to the others) And all of you. I'm sure you'd enjoy learning about our work-out programs.

*Danny nods too enthusiastically.*

Woman: You all look like you could use a good run in the gym.

Chuck: *Shrugs* I wouldn't mind.

Whitey: *Nods* Sure.

Slip: I'll go, but I ain't runnin'.

Sach: Says who? I have plenty of muscle! (He flexes his arms) See?

Woman: That reminds me, I might have spaghetti for lunch.

Danny: Louie doesn't have spaghetti.

Woman: I was referring to your friend's pasta arms.

Danny: Oh... *his face flushes.*

Slip: *Smirks at Sach* She's got ya there, Sach.

Sach: Well, maybe I will go to that gym an' show ya how strong I am!

Slip: That, I gotta see.

(Cut to the gym. We see all kinds of people, mostly men, working out on various equipment. While some of the people are skinny, most are huge bodybuilders in tight pants or shorts and tight tank tops. A large blond man goes right over to the woman and gives her a huge kiss when he arrives.)

Man: Hiya there, goddess. (Snorts at the Bowery Boys and Danny) What's with the wimp club?

Woman: They're new recruits. (Turns to the boys) Gentlemen, this is my friend Rex.

Rex: Looks like we have our choice here - fat, skinny, short, and sticks. Where the heck did she dig you nerds up?

Slip: We dug ourselves up across the street, shorty.

Rex: Who're you callin' shorty, shrimp?

Woman: Rex, that isn't nice.

Slip: Step aside, brainiac.

Rex: Sure. I'll bet none of you guys could lift anythin' in this room. Includin' me.

Woman: Rex...

Danny: *Holds up an index finger* But I just lifted my finger, and it's in this room!

Rex: I mean the machines, dummy.

Sach: I could lift a machine! (He goes right over to one of the unused pulley machines and tries to lift it...with little success)

Rex: That's not what I mean. (He goes over to the machine Sach is on and starts lifting the heavy black bars with the pulley) Now, I want to see all of you try that.

Danny: *Steps up to Rex* I can do that!

*Slip is already shaking his head.*

Rex: (Pulls away) Go ahead, Skinny.

Sach: (Mutters to Slip) Can he do that? I couldn't lift all that, an' I'm pretty strong!

Slip: *watches at Danny tentatively grabs the handles* We'll find out monetarily.

*Danny starts pulling on the handles and almost lifts himself up instead of pulling the handles down. He practically jumps on the handles, bringing the black bars up about an inch before they fall back, with the handles pulling Danny up off the floor. He yelps and hangs there.*

Rex: (Smirks) Having fun, wimp?

Danny: *Frowns* I did somethin' wrong.

Slip: Get down from there.

*Danny lets go and drops the one inch he was off the ground.*

Rex: You definitely need our deluxe program, Skinny. Why don't you join up, and I'll make a man out of you?

Danny: *His voice cracks* But I'm already a man!

Rex: That ain't what I'm hearin'. (Turns to the others) How about the rest of you? I'll give you a free trial.

Sach: I'll bet I could lift that whole thing!

Rex: How about you, shorty?

Slip: *Folds his arms* What if I don't feel like it?

Rex: How about the rest of you?

Sach: Sure! I wanna show off my arms.

Butch: Maybe I could stand to lose a little weight...

Chuck: *Shrugs* I wouldn't mind working on my muscles.

Whitey: I'd like to find my muscles.

Slip: *Hmphs* An' I'll supervise these guys.

Rex: I'm the supervisor here, shorty. (Smirks at Slip) You could stand to lose a few pounds yourself. Maybe a few more than that.

Slip: What was that crack, shorty?

Chuck: Slip, how about we check out the machines over there, okay? *pulls him away*

Woman: (Sighs) Sorry about Rex. He can be a little tough on newcomers.

Sach: If I pushed a pin into his chest, would he fold up like a balloon?

Woman: (Sighs, hearts in her eyes) No, that's 50 pounds of pure muscle. Isn't it grand?

Danny: How does he get through doorways with shoulders that broad?

Woman: He turns around. (Turns to Danny) You will join, won't ya? We're new in town, and we're looking for recruits.

Danny: *Makes several unintelligible noises* Uh, s-sure...

Woman: Come back later, and we'll give you that free trial. (Pats him on the cheek) Ta-ta! (Heads off)

Sach: Boy, is she pretty. Look at those gams!

*Danny whimpers, staring after her.*

Sach: I'm comin' back. In fact, I might end up movin' in.

Butch: (Shrugs) What harm could it do? Maybe we'll even get muscles like that guy's.

*Slip and Chuck re-join them.*

Slip: I don't want nutin' that guy's got.

Chuck: Slip, you have to admit, most of us really could use the workouts.

Slip: I don't have to admit nutin'.

Sach: I say we join it!

Danny: I'm joinin'! I'd like to see someone make me not join!

Butch: At the very least, Slip, if we do lose weight and develop some muscles, you'll be able to stick it to that guy. I don't think he liked us very much.

Slip: I'm not the only who got that feelin', then?

Chuck: *Sighs* I'm joining, too, even if my dear brother is gonna snort in my face about it.

Slip: Did I say I weren't gonna join? I just said I don't want nutin' that Rex guy's got. I'm joinin', too.

Sach: Great! (Throws his arm around Slip) We're all gonna be Charles Atlases in no time!

Slip: Sach, gedoffame NOW.

Danny: *Slaps his forehead* We never even got her name!

Sach: So we get her name! We just gotta figure out where she went!

Danny: *Points toward a hallway* She went that way.

Sach: So let's go talk to her already! (Grins at Danny) But I get to ask her out first. You already have a girl.

Danny: But she called me cute!

Sach: What about Kathy? Don't she call ya cute, too?

Danny: Well...hey, a guy's gotta collect all the cute comments when he can...especially when he's only gotten them from two girls.

Butch: Well, let's go find her already, before she leaves!

(Cut to the office. We see the woman duck in. Rex sits behind a desk in a fairly plain room with two file cabinets and some more gym equipment, this time state-of-the-art. Rex is already on the equipment when the woman comes in.)

Rex: Did ya hook 'em, Leslie?

Leslie: *Nods* Considering how most of them were drooling over me, I'd say so.

Rex: (Smirks) Boy, were they easy marks. (Makes a face) Except for the short fat guy. He kept giving me these looks like he knew I was up to somethin'. I don't like him.

Leslie: He was the only one not drooling. He's going to try to put a crimp in things. *shakes her head* I don't like him, either.

Rex: I really wish we didn't need him to get the others. Those skinny idiots and the fat kid will pay a lot to use this place.

Leslie: *Smirks* The two tall, skinny boys especially. Neither of them seem too bright.

Rex: This sure was a sweet scam we came up with, wasn't it? You lure suckers in with promises that our special diet and exercise machines will make them into Hercules, and I pick on them until they join to show off how man they aren't.

Leslie: *chuckles* I liked the skinny red-head lifting himself off the ground! I had to bite my lip to keep from laughing out loud.

Rex: Wasn't that crazy? And the guy who tried to lift the machine! What an idiot!

Leslie: *Smirks* Clearly, they're both geniuses.

Rex: Perfect patsies. And the other three guys are dopes. I could push them around with my little finger.

Leslie: This will be a rather fun group.

Rex: Leslie, I think I'll do the training for these morons myself. I could use a few laughs.

Leslie: Certainly. I'll join in where the skinny ones are concerned. I think I'll enjoy watching them stumble over each other.

Rex: I could lift the whole bunch with my little finger! Including the fat guy with the big mouth.

Leslie: I know you could.

Rex: We're gonna have to keep a close eye on the fat guy with the mouth. He might catch wise. If he does... (smirks) we'll send the boys after him.

Leslie: Though I think the boys might enjoying playing with him. They've been wanting a new medicine ball.

Rex: Yeah. They need a little something to toss around.

Leslie: Perhaps we should go find out if they're joining right away?

Rex: Good idea. Let's go, sweetheart. (He opens the door for her) After you.

Leslie: *nods* Thank you.

*Leslie heads out of the office, exaggerating her swinging hips as she walks.*

(Rex follows her, stomping like an overgrown buffalo. As they leave, six heads peek out from behind another door.)

Sach: Coast is clear, guys! They're gone! (Everyone steps out of the room)

Slip: 'Bout time. This place could use fumigatin' now.

Butch: Chief, those two don't care about helpin' us! All they want is our money!

Sach: And I thought that lady was cute!

Chuck: You were right, Slip.

Slip: As usual.

*Danny's staring in the direction Leslie went, frowning just a bit.*

Whitey: What'll we do?

Sach: I say we go across the street an' back to Louie's and forget about the whole thing. These people don't want us here.

Butch: But they'll just go on takin' other people's money!

Slip: We ain't gonna let them get away wit' that. Maybe we could work here.

Sach: Work? I thought you said that was a four-letter word!

Butch: Well, Chuck is the only one of us who's working at the moment.

Slip: It still is, but in ain't gonna be permanent. Just long enough ta get the goods on 'em.

Danny: *Distracted and still staring after Leslie* I'd sure like to get the goods on her... *sighs with a slight whimper*

Sach: Danny, are you ok? You look a little white. Did ya see a ghost?

Danny: Hm? *turns to Sach* What?

*Slip just shakes his head.*

Sach: What's with you? Didn't ya hear anythin' we said?

Butch: Dan, that chick is bad news!

Danny: She just needs the right guy to bring her around.

Slip: A'right, we're gettin' jobs here... *looks pointedly at Danny* An' you stay away from her. She ain't worth lettin' Kathy get bent outta shape over.

Butch: Yeah! Don't you love Kathy, too?

Danny: I know I like her.

Sach: Like her? Pshaw! You're nuts about her! I've seen you with her! You...you glow when you're around her!

Butch: Yeah!

Danny: It's just... *sighs* Never mind. Let’s get those jobs.

Sach: Ok! (Puts his hand around Danny's arms) Don't you worry, pal. I'll help you with Kathy. I know all about love.

*Danny just looks at Sach like he has two heads.*

Sach: Let's go back to Louie's and discuss this over a tall, frosty milkshake.

Danny: Strawberry?

Sach: You bet!

Danny: Okay.

(Sach and Danny follow the others down the hallway as we fade out on the two, with Sach's arm still around Danny's shoulder.)