(We open on the deck of a large cruise ship. Butch, Chuck, and Danny carry their luggage as the follow everyone else to their rooms, having just come from the captain's safety message and learning to use the life jackets.)

Butch: Isn't this exciting? Danny and I got a job on a cruise ship for two weeks! And not just any cruise ship, but the Jewel of the Sea! This is one of the fastest, fanciest ships on the ocean!

Chuck: This is fantastic, guys. I'm glad you brought me along.

Danny: Aw, we wouldn't have dreamed of leavin' ya behind.

Butch: Besides, we only had one extra ticket. We didn't want Slip and Sach fighting over it, and Whitey's been busy at the radio shop.

Danny: And that fight would've gone on for days.

Chuck: You're right.

Butch: I wish we could have brought them all along, but we could only manage that one extra ticket. Your brother sure was sore about being left behind.

Chuck: Don't remind me. I'm still kinda sorry he didn't see us off. *shrugs* But then he's been getting moodier anyway.

Butch: (As they make their way down a narrow flight of steps) What's been with Slip lately? Is he still upset about him, Sach, and me being stuck in jail for more than two months?

Chuck: Who knows? I try to ask, and he ranges from yelling to growling to punching to ignoring.

Danny: At least he isn't in a rut.

Butch: I don't get it. Is he having problems with Sally again? They seem ok to me when I see them.

Chuck: *Sighs* If I actually knew anything...

Butch: (As he unlocks their room) Do you think he's been drinking again?

Chuck: That suggestion usually garnered the punching.

Butch: (As they enter the room) I hope he'll feel better by the time we come back. He's no fun like this.

(Butch's room is quite small. There's a small drawer, a bed that folds down, a TV attached to the wall, a tiny refrigerator, and a tiny bathroom.)

Butch: Your rooms probably look the same. They obviously didn't give us the first-class rooms.

Danny: This is still better than some rooms I've stayed in. At least it's bigger than a closet.

Butch: Why don't we go see your rooms, then go upstairs and check out the lounge? Maybe we could get some lunch and do some rehearsing.

Chuck: Sounds good to me.

(Butch puts down his suitcase, and they head out.)

(Cut to the lounge. It's a fairly simple, elegant room with lots of chairs and tables surrounding a bar and a piano. Butch grins at the large piano and runs his hands over the top.)

Butch: Oh my...this is beautiful...

Danny: *Whistles* Would you get a load of this!

Chuck: This is nice.

Butch: I like this. We need to play more cruises.

*Danny wanders around the room, looking over, in, and under anything and everything.*

Chuck: As long as you bring me, too.

Butch: Dan, what are you looking for?

Danny: *As he continues* Oh... nothing.

Butch: Hey, maybe we could play a tune or two. I know no one's here during the lunch hour and we're just leaving port now, but it might be nice rehearsal.

Danny: *Bounces back over to them* I'm all for it!

Chuck: You can play for me.

Danny: But I know I'd prefer a pretty audience.

Chuck: Ha ha ha.

(As Butch sits down at the piano, two lovely ladies in simple but elegant suits walk in. They sit down at a table and chat as they look around the room.)

Danny: *Leans on the piano* I'm game for whatever you wanna play.

Butch: How's "Ballin' the Jack" sound to you?

Danny: You know how to pick 'em, my friend.

(Butch starts playing the song as Danny leans against the piano.)

*Danny sings the song, motioning grandly with his hands and tapping a foot.*

(Cut to the women. We discover that it's Sheila and Zelda in light traveling suits. Sheila raises an eyebrow when she sees the trio at the piano.)

Sheila: Well, well. Look who's joining us for this voyage?

Zelda: *Her eyes widen; she grins* Oh my...

Sheila: I had no idea my human resources department hired those two. This should be quite interesting. (Frowns when she sees Chuck) But why did that nosy little reporter have to go with them?

Zelda: I don't know, but I'm not complaining.

Sheila: Remember what a scandal it was the last time we encountered that reporter? Had to close down most of the nightclubs I was running.

Zelda: That wasn't nice.

Sheila: And DuVal would still be in jail if we hadn't bailed him out.

Zelda: Uh huh... *she's staring, watching as Danny does some two-step dance that doesn't fit the song and almost looks like he's going to trip over his own feet, but doesn't*

Sheila: What DO you see in him? I mean, he's quite a talented performer, but as a lover... (shakes her head)

Zelda: *Grins* It's hard to explain.

Sheila: (Sighs) Certainly not my type. I prefer men who are, well, more manly.

Zelda: *Makes a face* That doesn't matter so much.

*Butch plays a different tune. Danny launches into "Anatole of Paris," with hand gestures galore...and not so much manliness.*

Sheila: I rest my case.

Zelda: It's a song, Sheila, an act. *says more quietly* An act I could watch all day long.

Butch: (Mutters to Chuck as he plays) Aren't those chicks familiar?

Chuck: *nods* Yeah, too familiar. You think Dan's noticed them?

Butch: I hope not. Remember what he was like with Zelda a while back?

Chuck: All too well. He's almost finished, so we'd better get him outta here quickly.

*Danny finishes the song. There's clapping from the back of the room. Zelda is the one clapping, standing next to her seat.*

(Sheila shrugs and claps too. Danny IS quite good.)

*Danny gives an exaggerated gasp and points toward the two women.*

Chuck: *Groans* Great.

Sheila: Bravo, gentlemen! Why don't you join us for a drink? We won't bite.

Butch: I have a hard time believing that.

Chuck: *Makes a face* I definitely don't believe that.

Danny: How...how long were you here?

Zelda: *Sighs, grinning* Long enough to hear both songs.

Chuck: Too long.

Sheila: (She pats the chair next to her) We won't harm you. We promise. We just want to chat.

Zelda: Please?

Chuck: I don't like this.

Zelda: Oh, you boys are silly! *Latches onto Danny's arm; she pulls him over to the table as he looks over his shoulder back at Chuck and Butch*

Butch: (Mutters to Chuck) Should we rescue him, or find out what's going on here?

Chuck: I'm curious what's going on.

*Chuck and Butch walk up to the table. Zelda is sitting so close to Danny that if she were any closer, she'd be on his lap. Danny looks uncomfortable, but he doesn't stop her from playing with his hair or hugging his arm.*

Chuck: Here we are.

Sheila: Have a seat. (She smiles) What brings you here, Mr. Mahoney? I'm assuming the other two are singing and playing for their supper.

Chuck: *As he and Butch take seats* I'm along for the ride.

Sheila: Are you? Where's your brother and other friends?

Chuck: It's just us.

Danny: We only had one extra ticket... *his voice raises an octave at the end as Zelda snuggles closer*

*Chuck gives Zelda an icy look which she ignores completely.*

Sheila: The others couldn't come? What a shame. I'm sure they would have enjoyed it.

Chuck: I'm sure they would have enjoyed it.

Zelda: *Suddenly grins, looking up at Danny* Can I join your act?

Danny: *Swallows hard* I, uh...Butch?

Zelda: Oh please!

Butch: Can you sing or play?

Zelda: I can sing and I can look pretty.

Chuck: *raises an eyebrow* You sing?

Zelda: Well, okay...maybe not SING sing...

Sheila: Zelda, you have been known to frighten cats away.

Butch: Then sorry, we can't use you in the act.

Zelda: But there has to be something I could do!

Chuck: *Annoyed* What you can do, Zelda, is leave Danny alone.

Zelda: Excuse me?

Chuck: It's unfortunate he's such a nice guy or he'd be telling you to buzz off. Can't you see how uncomfortable you're making him?

*Danny's just looking up at the ceiling, pretending to not be in the room.*

Zelda: *Smirks at Chuck* You're sounding more like your brother.

Butch: Well, I'm not his brother, and I'm telling you this, too. Lay off him, Zelda. You're crabbing our act.

Zelda: Fine. *She grabs Danny's head and plants a big kiss on his lips, then lets him go and grins.* Okay. *she gets up and heads out, walking with an odd bounce in her step. Danny grabs for a napkin and starts wiping his mouth, then his tongue.*

Chuck: *Glares at Sheila* Goodbye, Sheila.

Sheila: (Stands) Good bye, gentlemen. I have an appointment soon, anyway. I hope we'll meet again while we're on-board.

Butch: I hope not.

*Danny mumbles "me either" while continuing to wipe his mouth.*

(She struts off. As soon as they're out-of-sight of the boys, she grabs Zelda's arm.)

Sheila: What were you DOING? What have I told you about controlling yourself?

Zelda: I am controlling myself. I'm also trying to control HIM. I just laid the groundwork.

Sheila: You need to learn to be less obvious about it. (Makes a face) I don't know what we're going to do about the other two. I'm not the least bit interested in them. Williams is genuinely talented and has his uses, but Mahoney is as much of a pain as his brother.

Zelda: We'll figure something out.

Sheila: (Nods) For now, we must keep that appointment.

Zelda: Of course, yes.

(The two head out; several heads turn in their wake. Two waiters are so interested in watching their strutting rears, they run into each other, dropping their trays all over the floor.)

(Fade out on the two befuddled waiters. Fade in on the lounge again...but this time, it's much later at night. Butch plays "St. Louis Blues" while Danny sings the famous jazz number. Both wear decent tuxes. The lounge is much darker and busier now, with people in good clothes having drinks at the bar or enjoying a light meal at the tables. The view from the windows shows that we are now at sea. The only lights are from the moon and passing ships.)

*Chuck sits at the bar, wearing a nice suit and having a drink, while watching his friends perform.*

(Sheila and Zelda come in, both wearing simple but elegant cocktail dresses. A few of the men with them wear suits. One larger, older man with graying hair wears a captain's uniform.)

Butch: (Raises his eyebrows and mutters to Danny) Dan, I think that's Captain Fielder! The Captain of the ship! What's he doing here? I didn't think he'd drink on the job!

*Danny gives Butch a wide-eyed look and shrugs.*

Butch: (Leans over Danny) We're due for a break soon, anyway. As soon as we finish this number, we have to find out what's going on there.

Danny: *Nods* Okay. *bows, then to the crowd* You're wonderful folks. We're gonna take five, then be right back.

Butch: (Nods with a grin) Don't anyone go anywhere!

(They both hurry over to Chuck at the bar.)

Butch: Chuck, did you see that? The Captain's here...with Sheila!

Chuck: What? No, I didn't see them come in. Where are they sitting?

Butch: (Points to their table in the back) Over there!

Chuck: I see them.

Butch: (Gulps) I guess they've already seen us.

*Zelda arrives. She latches onto both Danny and Chuck and tugs them away.*

Butch: Hey! (He follows them.)

Sheila: (Smirks) Hello, gentlemen. It's nice to see you again.

Chuck: *Nods* Hello, sir.

Captain Fielder: You boys certainly are a good act. I'm glad we hired you. Are you going to be in our on-board revue?

Butch: Probably not. We weren't hired to be. (Blushes) And I'm not much of an actor or singer.

Danny: A revue? Oh, I'd love to join in!

Captain Fielder: We'd love to have you, sir. I'm sure we could fit you in someplace.

Sheila: You would be...very interesting.

Captain Fielder: (Nods) Miss Saunders and I really need to talk business. (Smiles at Zelda) Why don't you entertain our guests? We won't be long.

Zelda: I'd be happy, too.

Butch: (Makes a face) Are you sure you don't need to use the powder room or something?

Zelda: I'm sure.

Sheila: Excuse us, gentlemen. (They head out the swinging doors. Butch leans over Chuck.)

Butch: (Mutters to Chuck) Maybe we ought to follow them. This could be important.

Chuck: *Nods* I hate to leave Danny here with Zelda, but there's enough people around that he should be okay. Let’s go before we lose them.

Butch: (Nods) Come on. (Turns to Zelda) We, um, need to use the little boys' room.

Zelda: *grins* Okay. Take your time.

Danny: What? Hey, fellas, wait!

*But they don't wait. Butch and Chuck follow Sheila and the Captain.*

Zelda: (Pulls her chair closer to Danny) Well, isn't this cozy?

Danny: Too cozy. *scoots away from her*

Zelda: (Scoots closer again) You know, I still like you.

Danny: *Scoots away* That's n-nice.

Zelda: (Scoots closer) You don't have to be afraid of me. I wouldn't hurt you. (Leans against him) You're so strong...

Danny: *His voice goes up* Actually I'm a wimp! *tries to scoot away again, but she's got a hold of him*

Zelda: Oooh, I don't think so. You're sooo handsome!

Danny: No, no, I really am! I'm yellow! There's a yellow streak down my back!

Zelda: There is? Can I see it? (She tries to peer down his jacket)

Danny: *Yelps* No, you can't see it!

Zelda: (Pulls away, but she's grinning) You have a nice back.

Danny: Thanks. *Frowns* Please, Zelda, I really need to... *tries to scoot again, but she's still got a hold of him*

Zelda: Need to what? (She holds out a glass) Need a drink? A nibble? (Kisses him) A kiss?

Danny: *Loud gasp* Go! I need to go...I c-can't stay...

Zelda: Why not? (Kisses him harder)

Danny: *Starts flailing as he falls off the chair* Oof! Ooooh, that's really a hard wood floor...

Zelda: What are you doing down there? (She reaches for him) Why don't you come back here, into my nice comfortable arms?

Danny: *Backs away* Nooo! I'm okay down here!

Zelda: Come on! People are staring! You'll be much safer up here!

Danny: *Yelps* I don't care if they're staring! *scrambles away on his hands and knees*

Zelda: Hey, come back! (She chases after him as we fade out.)