(We open back in Louie's Sweet Shop. Sach is bowing for the boys.)

Sach: ...And that's how I saved Chiefy from the terrors of the Arctic Square.

*Slip makes a clearly disgusted noise.*

Danny: *to Sach* I don't think your Chiefy appreciates what ya did for him.

Sach: Aw, he's just tired. It's past midnight. He'll feel better tomorrow. (Yawns and leans against Slip) Boy, that story sure tired me out...

*Slip grunts...but he yawns as well. He gives Sach a faint whack with his hat.*

Duke: Looks like someone ought to pick this story up, before we all end up passed out on the counter. (Grins at Gabe) Since it's getting late, how about you and me share a part?

Gabe;* Nods* Sure. I'm up for it.

Duke: After Sach's ice and snow, I think we could turn up the heat a bit. How about we take this story to the Pyramids?

Gabe: I like it.

Duke: Yeah, mummies, ancient curses, everyone in khaki. (Grins) And camels who spit on the right people, like in "The Road to Morocco."

Gabe: Since it's your idea, Duke, wanna take us there?

Duke: Sure! So, Bobby flew the guys to the deserts of Egypt, where the next key is hidden...

(Fade out on Duke telling the story while Sach leans on Slip, obviously nodding off. Fade in on what appears to be miles and miles of backlot desert. We see all the guys riding camels. Chuck and Butch wear pith helmets. Whitey and Sach wear Foreign Legionairre's caps. Slip wears his usual hat. Everyone's in khaki and jeans. The camels carry what look like packs filled with food and supplies, including a large tent.)

Sach: How much further until we meet those ark-e-logie buddies of yours, Whitey?

Whitey: They should be right over the next hill. They said they have a little camp set up already.

Butch: I've never met real archaeologists before! This should be really nifty!

(They arrive at the camp, a series of tents. Duke, wearing his usual fedora, an open shirt, and jeans, joins the guys.)

Duke: Hey, Whitey! How's things goin'? Glad to see you got here ok.

Whitey: Yeah, we got here fine. So far, we're doin' all right.

Duke: Who's your buddies?

Sach: (Bows) The great Horace DuBussy Jones, chemist and camel driver extraordinary.

Butch: Uh, Butch Williams, pianist.

Slip: Slip Mahoney, Explorer for Hire.

Chuck: I'm Slip's brother, Chuck. I'm also an Explorer for Hire.

Duke: Good, we could use you guys. We heard you were lookin' for a key

Whitey: *nods* There's one in the desert, here, supposedly.

Duke: Gabey n' me have been searchin' for a cursed treasure, too. An uncle of ours wants it real bad.

Slip: An' yer uncle ain't out here helpin'. Pushy guy.

Duke: Let's just say he's busy.

Sach: Let's get to those pyramids! I wanna see if we can find Cleopatra in any of 'em. I heard she was a dish.

Slip: If we find 'er, she better be well-preserved.

Duke: Let's go find her. (He climbs onto a camel.)

Sach: Oh boy! More camel rides! (He climbs onto a camel with two humps) Hey, this camel has a rumble seat!

Slip: I'm gonna rumble yer head.

Sach: Come on, Chief! She likes you! (She does seem to wander over to Slip...and then spits in his eye.)

Slip: *Wipes his eye* Saaaaach!

Duke: (He rides over and pats the camel) Good girl. She even ad-libs well. I like that in a woman.

Sach: Sorry, Chief! She's being naughty! (Pushes Duke away) Don't encourage her!

Gabe: *Leans over Duke* She's well-trained.

Duke: (Grins and nods) Very well.

Butch: (He climbs on his camel) Let's get going! I want to see the pyramids!

Duke: Aren't you going to get on a camel, Slip?

*Slip mutters as he climbs onto a camel with some difficulty. Meanwhile, Chuck and Whitey climb on theirs with no problems, as does Gabe.*

Duke: Ok, everyone march out!

(And they do...as we dissolve from the group heading off into the desert to the blazing hot sun over the desert itself. Sach is first.)

Sach: (As he spurs his camel) Whoa Nellie, not so fast! You're kind of tippy. I don't wanna end up eatin' sand.

Butch: (He races ahead of Chuck) My camel is faster than yours!

Chuck: *Catches up to Butch* No way! Mine's faster!

Duke: (He and Gabe are riding together) Look at those two! Ain't they crazy?

Sach: And you guys say I'm a kid!

Duke: We should be at the pyramids soon.

Sach: (Points as we see the tops of the pyramids in the horizon) Oooh, there they are! Chief, I can't wait to go in a pyramid! Just like a real explorer!

Duke: Remember, when we get in there, be careful. Stay with me or Gabe at all times. We know the place inside and out.

(They all stop the camels next to one of the largest pyramids. There's a fence next to the pyramid that says "Camel Hitching Post." The boys all tie their camels to the fence.)

Sach: (He pulls out his camera) I'm gonna get some great shots of this!

Duke: Just be careful, guys. And don't touch anythin' that ain't a key. It might be cursed. There are cursed mummies around here, ya know.

Sach: (Gulps) Cursed? I'd curse, too, if I were wrapped up in sheets for 2,000 years without TV or decent plumbing.

(They enter the dark, dusty pyramid. Everyone has flashlights.)

Sach: Cleopatra needs to hire a better housekeeper. This place is fulla dust! (He sneezes)

Duke: Sach, I doubt anyone had been in here for a few millennia before they opened it up in the 20s.

Butch: This place is really creepy. I feel like somethin' could jump out and grab me any minute!

Chuck: It sure is creepy.

(The boys all pass by a series of sarcophagi with various inscriptions. What they don't see is one open...and the mummy grabs Chuck and clamps his hand hard over the young man's mouth! Chuck struggles, but he drags him into his decorated box, which closes shut with a whump.)

Sach: What was that? (He turns around...and sees no one behind him) Chuck? Chuckie? Hoo boy. Chief! (He hurries over to Slip) Chief, Chuck's gone!

Slip: What're you blabberin' about? Chuck's right... *turns and indeed finds him gone* Dammit!

Sach: (Whimpers) The mummy took him! This place is cursed!

Duke: Maybe he just got lost.

Sach: (He turns around) This place is scarin' me!

Butch: Chuck? (He runs down the hall) Chuck! Where are you? (Turns to Slip) I'm worried. I hope nothing bad happened.

Slip: We're gonna find him. We'll turn this place inside out if we gotta.

Butch: (Nods) I agree. (He runs down the hall again) Chuck!

Duke: Butch, don't go off alone! (But he's already off down the dark hall)

*However, while Butch is down the hall, a trap door opens below him. He slides down, and the trap door closes itself.*

Slip: Butch! Get back here!

Duke: (He runs down the hall...but his light shines on nothing) He's gone!

Sach: (He starts to cry) They have Butchy and Chuckie! Those poor kids! They never had a chance!

*Slip starts whacking Sach with his hat.*

Sach: Ouch! Hey! (He hits him so hard, he lands right in an open sarcophagus!)

Duke: Sach! (He tries to open the box...but it's stuck) Gabe! Slip! Help me here!

Slip: Crap... *goes over to help as Gabe does as well*

(They finally pry it open...revealing an empty sarcophagus. Duke shines his flashlight into it, but all we see is aged wood.)

Duke: Damn. They must be really desperate if they're takin' Sach.

Slip: Desperate? This proves they're stupid.

Duke: We've gotta find those guys. Whitey, do you know where in the pyramid the key is?

Whitey: All I can tell is it's somewhere near the center, which I think we're very close to.

Slip: Well, that's just wonderful, Whitey. Could ya be a little more unspecific? We're missin' three of us, one of 'em's my brother, an’ we don't have a clue where they are! *picks up a chunk of rock and heaves it across the room. It shatters against a seemingly ordinary wall.*

(There's a huge creak. The wall suddenly opens, revealing another room.)

Duke: Hey Slip, your temper actually came in handy for once!

(The four men enter the secret room. It's filled with dust, sarcophagi, antique pottery and jewelry...and what looks like three mummies laying on the table, a knife swaying over their throats!)

Slip: *Eyes widen* Dammit! Get 'em offa there!

DuVal: Oh no, you don't. (He, Zelda, Sheila, and several of his goons emerge from another open door; he and the goons carry guns) None of you are leaving this tomb.

(The "mummies," one of whom is taller and less well-wrapped than the other two, wriggle helplessly.)

Duke: (He looks at Gabe) Well, Agent Moreno, I think it's time we showed this jerk Uncle Sam's boys mean business.

Gabe: I'd say so, Agent Coveleskie.

Duke: Routine 15! (They do a patty-cake routine...then both hit DuVal at once, right into two of his men!)

Sheila: Oooh, I love smart, strong men! What lovely right hooks!

Duke: Can it, lady. Whitey and Slip, cut the other three open. (He tosses Slip a pocket knife)

*Slip salutes with the pocket knife and goes to work cutting one of the shorter mummies free. Whitey produces his own knife and starts to free the taller mummy.*

Gabe: *To Sheila* If you thought our right hooks were good, just wait!

Sheila: Oooh, I wanna see your left hooks.

Duke: I'll show you somethin'. (He dips Sheila and kisses her. When she comes up, she's dazed and he looks like he just sucked a lemon. To Gabe) Your turn. She has really strong perfume.

Sheila: (Turns to Gabe, her lips ready) Yes, my love. Kiss me.

Gabe: *Nods at Duke* Thanks for the warning. *takes Sheila in his arms and copies Duke by dipping her first and kissing her; when they comes up, he looks more green than lemony*

Sheila: Ohh...oh my...that was wonderful... (She faints dead away.)

Duke: (Turns to Gabe) What in the heck is she wearin', industrial strength furniture polish? Her perfume could kill a moose at 30 paces!

DuVal: (Turns to Zelda) You distract the others. (Holds up the key) While we get away with this.

Zelda: Okay! *she goes to Slip just before he finishes freeing the mummy now revealed as Butch; she lays a BIG kiss on his lips, causing him to lose the knife*

Duke: (Grabs the knife before the goon can get it and holds it to Zelda's back) Ok, sister. Get your dirty lips off my pal.

Zelda: *Pushes Slip away; he starts gasping for air* You boys are no fun.

Duke: We'll be even less fun if you don't tell us what your boss did with that key.

Sach: (As he gets to his feet; he still has his camera) Oooh, I love this shot! It's so tough! The big guy pokin' the little girl! Hold that pose! (He takes their picture...and the flash blinds Duke long enough for Zelda to take off.)

Duke: Damn it! Sach, you moron, she's gone!

Sach: I'm sorry! I just wanted a good picture!

Slip: *Smacks Sach with his hat, but there isn't much force behind it* Ya stupid moron!

Butch: (Frowns as Whitey helps him out of the last of the bandages) What happened? One minute, I was looking for Chuck, and the next, I was laying on a hard bed, trussed up like a Thanksgiving turkey!

Duke: I think they grabbed you guys to distract us. They got the key, too.

Duke: (Turns to Gabe, who nods; he then turns to the others) And we might as well tell ya that we ain't real archaeologists. We're agents workin' for the FBI. That uncle we mentioned earlier that we worked for is Uncle Sam.

Slip: *Leans on one of the tables* That explains why he's so pushy.

Duke: (Nods) No kiddin'. The US government wants to keep this treasure outta DuVal's hands. We think he's gonna sell the loot on the black market and strip that Lost City bare.

Sach: We can't let 'em do that!

Duke: We won't. (Turns to Slip) Mind if a couple of agents shack up with you guys?

Slip: Fine wit' me. Incineratin' what we just went through, we could use the help.

Duke: (Nods) And we need the transportation AND the help. There's only two of us an' five of you. Six, countin' Jordan.

Sach: Maybe we oughta get back to Bobby, before he takes the plane out lookin' for us.

Butch: If he's finished gettin' sand outta the engines.

Chuck: He wasn't too happy about that.

Sach: Well, let's get outta here, before he's even less happy. (He grins as all of the boys stand to go) One more moment, please. I want my picture. Say "cheese!"

(The last shot reveals a picture of Chuck and Butch exchanging amused glances, Whitey with his mouth open, Duke slapping his forehead in annoyance, Gabe rubbing his eyes from the bright flash...and Slip reaching for Sach to strangle him as we fade out.)