(We open in a wide room. There's a few desks and crates surrounding shelves filled with all kinds of art items, from brushes to paints to oils to squares of canvas large and small. An elevator opens, and the five Bowery Boys step into the area.)
Butch: Wow. Kind of empty up here.
Slip: A little creepy up here.
Butch: This must be some kinda art studio. (Frowns) I wonder where Rachel would be?
Sach: Yeah, there ain't too many hidin' places up here.
Slip: And s'posedly Sheila's up here, too.
(That's when we hear evil laughter. Sheila and Zelda step out from behind a very large blank canvas.)
Slip: Where's Rachel?
Sheila: She's here.
Chuck: She's here!? *looks around*
Sheila: But not here.
Chuck: *Turns to her with a wild look in his eyes* WHAT!?
Slip: Quit yer games, Sheila! Where's Rachel?
Sheila: She is here...but you'll have to find her.
Sach: That should be easy! There ain't that many places to hide in this big, empty room.
Slip: It ain't as easy as it sounds, is it?
Sheila: No, it's not. Are you sure this is just a big, empty room?
Slip: That's what it looks like, but it ain't?
Sheila: No. Look closer.
Slip: *Growls* What the hell are you talkin' about?!
Sheila: Go on. Take a look around.
Sach: All I see is a lot of room.
Whitey: M...me t...too.
Sheila: Go on. Walk around.
Slip: Shit. *starts to walk around*
Sach: Chief, wait up!
Butch: Yeah!
(As they move, we suddenly cut to what looks like a jungle, complete with parrot caws and monkeys squeaking.)
Sach: Hey! (He looks around) Chief, are there any jungles in the middle of downtown Manhattan?
Slip: No... *sees what Sach means* aw man...
Butch: Hey! (Points at himself) We're all dressed like explorers from the movies! (Everyone but Slip wears pith helmets and khaki pants and shirts. Slip wears his own hat and a leather jacket over his safari duds.)
Sach: I love it already! A real safari! Where's Maria Montez and all those jungle animals? (He looks around)
Butch: Sach, forget her! We've gotta find Rachel!
Sach: She'd be an even prettier jungle goddess, anyway.
*Chuck sits on a fallen tree and puts his face in his hands.*
Sach: (As we suddenly hear screaming) Hark! What yonder voice do my ears hear?
Butch: It sounds like a girl!
Chuck: *Jumps up* RACHEL! *runs toward the scream*
Slip: Chuck! Shit! *runs after Chuck*
(Cut to a clearing. What looks like Rachel in a leopard-print short dress, her hair pulled back with jungle blossoms, screams as a massive spider seems to come closer and closer to her.)
Chuck: NO! *throws himself at the spider*
Sach: Chuckie, are you crazy!?
Butch: Yeah, crazy in love.
Slip: Both.
Butch: We've got to help him!
Sach: Whitey n' I can untie Rachel. You guys go help Chuckie.
*Slip's already gone to help Chuck.*
Butch: Chuck! We're comin'! (He yanks at one of the spider's arms...and is surprised when it comes right off) Wait a minute... (Sees the mechanical wires) Guys...
Sach: (As he unties Rachel) Don't worry, Rach. We'll have you outta here in two shakes of a parrot's tail!
Slip: It ain't real!
Butch: (Nods) It's just a robot, like in the sci-fi serials!
(Sach and Whitey hold the half-conscious Rachel up as well as they can.)
Butch: There has to be some way to shut it down!
Slip: I got an idea. *raises a large tree limb & brings it down hard onto the mechanical spider's back*
(The spider collapses, crushed under the tree limb. His mechanical parts go everywhere.)
Butch: Wow! Nice work, Chief!
Slip: Thanks.
Sach: Chuck, here she is!
Butch: I wonder if she's real, too.
Chuck: *Goes to her side* Rachel!
(Rachel nods at him, but her eyes close...and she seems to fade out...)
Chuck: Rachel, no!
Butch: What happened to her?
Sach: (He closes his eyes) They still have her.
Butch: (He puts an arm around Chuck) We'll find her, buddy.
Chuck: You guys keep saying that! We haven't found her, and we probably never will! *he makes a move to leave them, and our scene suddenly changes to a desert*
Butch: (Looks around - there's nothing but sand and palm trees for miles) Holy cow!
Sach: (They're all wearing the same outfits, except Slip no longer has a leather jacket and they all have utility belts) Hey Chuckie, don't ya feel like Batman with these? Where's the Bathook? (Looks around)
Butch: Now where are we?
Sach: We're in the desert! Where do you think we are, Macy's toy department?
Slip: *Shakes his head* This is ridiculous.
*Chuck just walks away from them, hands jammed in his pockets and his head down.*
Sach: Hey, look! (He points at a triangular shape ahead of them) What's that?
Slip: Dunno. Lets go check it out. *Steers Chuck toward the triangular shape ahead of them*
Butch: (As we get closer, we can clearly see that it's a pyramid) Wow, look at that!
Sach: It looks like one of those old movies about the mummies who come to life n' chase people. :P :O
(When the boys finally arrive at the pyramid, they see a very large, square opening right in the front.)
Butch: Looks like we're already invited in.
Sach: (Gulps) Chief, I don't like this. It looks dark in there. What if a mummy jumps out and grabs me?
Butch: (Nods) Yeah. Looks kinda spooky...
Sach: (Gives Slip a little shove) You go first. You're brave.
Slip: Don't be gettin' pushy. I don't trust none of this.
Sach: I don't, either. That's why I want you to go first.
Butch: Maybe we should all go together.
Sach: Shall we, oh great and mighty Chiefy?
Slip: Let’s go.
(Cut to the dark, dark passage inside the pyramid. The boys make their way into a large, dusty block room. The room is surrounded by sarcophagus, chests worn with age, and pots and clay vessels. In the center of the room is what looks like Rachel in a Cleopatra outfit, complete with a heavy gold necklace, a gauzy white gown, and a golden head piece over her already long, black locks. What looks like an ancient mummy is wrapping bandages around her. Her eyes are closed, and she makes no movement at all.)
Sach: Yi...yi...MUMMY! (He turns to run, but Slip grabs the back of his shirt)
Slip: Saaaaach...
*Meanwhile, Chuck sprints forward to help Rachel once again.*
Butch: Chuck, wait a minute! (He goes after his best friend)
Slip: *Growls* I'm gettin' real tired of this. *goes after the mummy*
Sach: (Points at the flapping bandages on the end of the mummy) Hey, Whitey! Look! That mummy's mummy didn't wrap his bandages tight enough around his boo-boos.
(Butch takes Rachel in his arms and tries to unwind her as Slip and Chuck attack the mummy.)
Sach: Whitey, do ya wanna help Mr. Mummy wrap up his boo-boos better?
Whitey: *Nods* Yeah!
Sach: You stop him, an' I'll grab the bandage.
(The Mummy pulls away from Chuck and Slip and tries to take off. Whitey jumps in front of him, waving a flashlight from his utility belt. Sach grabs his bandage and tries to tighten it...but he sends the Mummy twirling across the room instead as the bandages unravel! When they stop, the Mummy is nothing but a pile of bandages on the floor.)
Sach: Imagine that! (He waves Whitey over) That guy weren't nothin' but strips of fabric!
Whitey: Wow!
Sach: Chiefy! Look! (He waves Slip over) He weren't no Mummy! Just some wound-up cloth, kinda like what my mom uses for dust rags.
Slip: Don't that beat all. *sighs* I'm really get tired of this.
Butch: (Frowns; Rachel's fading out again) Oh no...
Chuck: *Sees Rachel fade* NO! Stop her!
(The guys all lunge for her at once...but they're too late. She vanishes before anyone can stop her.)
Sach: Oooh! Darn that Sheila! She's doin' this!
Butch: I wish I hadn't left my guitar downstairs.
Chuck: Nooo! *groans*
Butch: (He puts his arm around Chuck) We'll find her. You can count on that.
Chuck: Stop saying that!
Sach: Maybe we'd better get outta here.
Butch: Yeah. We'll get her, Chuck.
Sach: Let's get outta here. This place is givin' my heebie-jeebies the heebie-jeebies.
(Cut to the same, empty art studio we began in. The guys walk right back into the room, wearing their original clothes.)
Sach: Well, what do ya know?
Slip: Okay, Sheila, cut the shit and give us Rachel back!
Sheila: All right. Since you asked so...nicely.
(Rachel walks out, still wearing her black gown from earlier...but her eyes are dark...)
Sach: Chuck, no! She ain't...she ain't right!
Chuck: I don't care! *goes to Rachel*
Sach: Chuck, don't! (He lunges for him, but Sheila and Zelda block him)
Sheila: There's something not quite right about you too, Jones. I still don't know how you got into Mahoney the Younger's brain earlier.
Sach: As you girls would say, that's for me to know an’ you to find out.
Slip: That's cuz Sach is smarter than he looks.
Sach: Thanks, Chiefy... (He turns around...and sees Rachel about to kiss Chuck) Chuckie, NO! Remember what happened at Halloween?
*Chuck lets Rachel kiss him. His eyes widen upon hearing Sach, but it's too late. Rachel kisses him deeply, eagerly...*
Slip: Dammit! What's she doin' ta him?
Sach: (Narrows his eyes; deeper) Remember Halloween? Remember what Rachel did to him when she kissed Chuck while hexed by these two?
Slip: *Turns to Sheila and Zelda* I swear I'm gonna tear you two apart if you don't quit screwin' wit' Chuck's brain.
Sheila: (Turns to Chuck and Rachel) Child of darkness, did you hear him? Perhaps you should deal with him.
Sach: Oh no, he won't! (He steps in front of Slip) Ain't no one gonna deal with my Chiefy but me!
*Chuck's visage appears to blur. A second Chuck appears.*
Slip: *eyes widen* What the hell!?
*The second Chuck brushes himself off, smirking.*
Evil Chuck: About time you got me out of there. This guy's so dull.
Sach: It's you again.
Sheila: Hello, Child of Darkness.
Butch: He's not dull! He's smart and funny and nice!
Evil Chuck: Dull, dull, and oh, DULL!
Slip: *Steps up to him* You go back where you belong & that ain't out here roamin' free.
Sach: (He steps next to Slip) Chief, let me handle this guy. He don't like it when I touch him. I know he's just a little piece of Chuck's imagination. If Chuck makes him go, he's gotta go...and he don't like that.
Slip: A'right, Sach, you can handle him. I'm gonna check on Chuck.
Sach: (Looks over his shoulder) Butch, Whitey, you handle the chicks.
Butch: (Smirks at Sheila) I'll take the Queen Witch.
Sheila: And I get stuck with a guitar-playing child.
Butch: I'm more man than anyone you've ever had.
Whitey: Uhhh...
*Zelda just smirks, folding her arms over her chest.*
(We fade out as the four men face off against the four "children of darkness" in the center of the empty room.)