*We fade into a library that's jam packed with books. Sach, Slip, and Butch appear in the middle of everything.*
Sach: (Looks around) Oooh, a library! I wonder where the comic books are?
Slip: *Slugs Sach's shoulder* This is Chuck's brain, ya idiot!
Sach: (Rubs his shoulder) Well then, maybe we'll have to ask him where the comic books are. (Yells) Hey Chuckie, where's the comic books?
*Slip rolls his eyes. We see Chuck appear two floors up, leaning over a railing and looking down at them. He waves.*
Chuck: Welcome, fellas.
Sach: (Looks up) Chuckie, where's the comic books?
Butch: Chuck?
Slip: *Shakes his head* That ain't him.
Chuck: *Smirks* A prize for Slip. *motions around* Not bad in here, but kinda boring for my liking. Slip, your brother's a real nerd.
Sach: Chuckie's no nerd!
Butch: (Grins) Yeah, he is, but that's not a bad thing.
Chuck: Boring!
Sach: Then what's your idea of a fun time? (Grins) Personally, I think banana splits are really excitin'. Where's Chuck's kitchen?
*Chuck laughs, then moves away from the railing and disappears.*
Sach: Hey, come back here! You didn't tell me where the comic books are!
Butch: He was a real help.
Slip: That guy's really pissin' me off. *Nods at the others* C'mon, let’s look around. Our Chuck's gotta be around here somewhere. *waves them along* Let’s try this door over here.
Sach: I hope it's safe. Chuck reads all those books.
Butch: (Nods) It amazes me what he comes up with sometimes.
Slip: No kiddin'. *pushes the door open and pauses* What the hell?
Sach: What? What? Is it ugly? (He leans over Slip's shoulder)
Butch: Did you find Chuck?
Slip: It's a friggin' hallway!
*The door closes behind them and dissolves into the wall.*
Sach: (He jumps) Yipes! I guess someone don't want us to go no where else!
Butch: I feel like I'm in Alice In Wonderland.
Sach: Don't say that! I don't feel like joinin' no crazy tea party.
Slip: Chuck's been readin' too much. *starts down the hallway*
Sach: (Grabs Slip's arm) I'm stayin' near you, Chief. Somethin' might jump out at me.
Slip: Sach, will you knock it off? *leads them along the hallway* Okay, Chuck, where's the damn door?
Sach: Yeah! We can't keep walkin' forever!
Butch: It won't make for much of a story.
*A trap door appears in the floor just ahead of them.*
Sach: (Looks down) Looks dark in there.
Butch: I guess we don't have much of a choice.
Slip: Here goes nothin'... *jumps through first*
Sach: Uh...you know, I think I have to be onstage in a few minutes...
Butch: You don't have to be on until almost the end of the show. Get in. (He shoves Sach in, then goes in himself)
*We see Slip fall into a wheat field, then Sach, then Butch.*
Slip: *Groans* This is ridiculous. You two okay?
Butch: (Nods) Yeah.
Sach: I'm ok. I'm glad we fell on all this really tall grass.
*Slip brushes himself off, then looks up and around. He pauses, looking behind them. His eyes widen.*
Slip: *Points behind them* Fellas, lookit the scarecrow!
Butch: What scarecrow?
Sach: Now we're in the Wizard of Oz! Where's that little dog? Do I get to wear the fancy red shoes?
Slip: *Shakes his head* That scarecrow is Chuck! *Heads for where the scarecrow is hung. It is, indeed, Chuck, wearing a tattered brown shirt, old pants, and floppy straw hat, with straw sticking out everywhere.*
Butch: Chuck! (He follows after Slip)
Sach: Chuckie! (Runs over to the scarecrow) Did they hurt ya? My poor Chuckie!
Slip: *Joins Sach at the scarecrow and looks up at him* Dammit. *gently slaps Chuck's cheek* Chuck, wake up...
Sach: Chuck! Come on, buddy!
Butch: We're here to help you. There has to be a way to get you down! You don't belong up there!
Sach: Who strung ya up there, that bad Chuck?
Butch: Why would he imagine himself like this?
Slip: *Moves around behind; to Sach and Butch* Grab hold of him. I'm gonna try to get him off the post.
Sach: Aye aye, Chief!
Butch: (Takes his torso) I have his back!
Sach: (Grabs his legs) I got his legs! (Squeezes them) Boy, are they toothpicks. You've gotta start eatin', like me.
Slip: *Grunts, ignoring Sach* Almost...got him...
(Suddenly, Chuck's bindings give way. The momentum knocks all four men to the soft, green and brown wheat below them.)
Slip: Oof! Sach, what were ya sayin' about eatin'?
Sach: (As he scrambles off of Slip) Sorry, Chief! I can't help it if Louie's banana splits are the best in the Bowery!
Slip: Just roll him over. *takes one of Chuck's arms and starts to push him over to his back*
Sach: (Helps him) I hope they didin't do nuthin' bad to him. Worse than lockin' him up in his own mind, that is.
Butch: Chuck, are you ok? Can you talk to us?
Slip: C'mon, kid... *Gently pats his cheek again. Chuck's eyelids flutter.*
Slip: You can do it, kid, c'mon...
Butch: Come on, Chuck!
Chuck: *His eyelids flutter again; he frowns* Mmmm...tr...tra...
Slip: *Leans closer* Chuck, what is it?
Butch: Chuck, what's wrong?
Sach: (His eyes widen; he's looking behind them) Tr...tr....tr... (Points behind Slip)
Slip: Sach, shuddup!
*Chuck's eyes finally open, but he's still frowning.*
Evil Chuck: *Walks up to Sach* I think he's trying to tell you this is a trap. *closes Sach's mouth*
Slip: *Turns* You again! Let Chuck free!
Sach: (Slaps Evil Chuck's hand away; deep voice) You touch me like that again, buster, and you'll be missin' a hand.
Butch: (Puts his arms around Chuck) He's really hurting!
Evil Chuck: I'm really scared, Horace.
Sach: (Holds up a fist) You saw what I can do. Who do you think taught the Chief how to fight?
Evil Chuck: I know it was you! I'm just Chuck's evil side, you moron.
Slip: You free Chuck, or I'm lettin' Sach loose on you.
Evil Chuck: *Grins at them* Anyone else touches me, and he's gone. *points at Chuck* Simple enough for you?
Butch: (Gulps and pulls Chuck closer) No! Don't hurt him! Please!
Evil Chuck: Someone try me.
Sach: (He steps up to Evil Chuck and puts a hand on his shoulder) You're jealous of him...and afraid. Very afraid. You want what he's got...Rachel, a home with good friends, a way to find lots of excitement in an excitin' city. An' you think the only way to get that is to get rid of him.
Evil Chuck: Yeah, that's pretty close to it. Oh, by the way, you just touched me. *snaps his fingers; Chuck cries out and vanishes.*
Slip: You bastard! *growls, fists clenching at his sides*
Sach: You jerk! I didn't hit ya! (He lunges for him)
Butch: (Almost in tears) Sach, don't! Please don't!
Evil Chuck: *Side steps Sach and knocks him to the ground* I told you if anyone TOUCHED me. I didn't say PUNCH.
Slip: That does it. *Jumps at Evil Chuck while his attention is still on Sach; the two go tumbling to the ground*
Sach: (As he gets on his knees) Go get 'em, Chief! Knock his teeth out!
Butch: Chief...
*Slip and Evil Chuck are throwing punches. Most of them are landing.*
Sach: Come on, Chief! You can get him! Tear his head off!
Butch: No! (He tries to get between them) Slip, this is your brother!
Slip: This creep ain't my brother! *punches Evil Chuck in the face, narrowly missing his nose*
Sach: No, he isn't.
Butch: Sach, do somethin'!
Sach: An' get my own teeth knocked out? No thank you. Besides, I don't think that creep's gettin' anythin' he don't deserve.
Butch: (Turns to the other two) I don't know what to do. I just want him to bring Chuck back. OUR Chuck.
*Evil Chuck clips Slip's jaw and manages to pull away from him. When Chuck stands, we see his lip is split.*
Evil Chuck: *Touches his lip* Fat bastard. I'm not done with any of you...or him! *disappears*
Butch: No! (He tries to jump for him, but he's already gone) Noooo! Chuck!
Sach: (Puts an arm around Butch) Don't worry. We'll find him.
Butch: (Sniffles) I'm really scared, guys. If we don't find Chuck soon...
Slip: *groans, wincing* He can't go on like this.
Sach: Yeah. He's really goin' crazy. That guy wants to take over his life...but he don't understand that he ain't really Chuck. He's just kind of a shadow you can touch.
Slip: *Sits up, rubbing his head* An' a shadow with a damn hard punch.
Butch: Slip, was Chuck reading "The Wizard of Oz" recently?
Slip: *Groans* I loaned it to him.
Sach: No wonder this seems familiar. Where's Judy Garland an' that guy with the crazy rubbery legs?
Butch: I'll take Judy Garland. She's cute.
Slip: *Gets up* There's gotta be a yella brick road 'round here somewhere.
*We switch from the trio walking through the wheat field to a dark, foreboding fortress with a huge tower on one side. In the tower, we find Chuck chained to a stone wall by his wrists and ankles. His head is bowed.*
Evil Chuck: (He enters the tower, smirking) Hello, nerd.
*Chuck lifts his head just enough to glare at him.*
Evil Chuck: How do you like your new home? I sure do love the things you can imagine.
*Chuck spits at his feet.*
Evil Chuck: Watch where you put that. (He slaps Chuck)
*The slap turns Chuck's head. He winces, yet remains silent.*
Evil Chuck: (Leans very close into Chuck's face) What do you have to say for yourself, sissy boy?
Chuck: *Faintly* Go to hell.
Evil Chuck: Already done that. I like it here better.
*Chuck turns his head away, unable to look at his double.*
Evil Chuck: What'sa matter? You scared, baby?
*Chuck doesn't reply or turn back to him.*
Evil Chuck: (Grabs Chuck's face turns it to him) Are we so ugly you don't want to look at us?
Chuck: *Faintly* You're the one who's ugly.
Evil Chuck: You forget. We're the same person, baby.
Chuck: *Faintly* Stop calling me that.
Evil Chuck: Why? It suits you.
Chuck: No...
Evil Chuck: You know it does. Your family always babied you, because you're the youngest.
Chuck: *Whispers* I'm not a baby.
Evil Chuck: Why are you still livin' in a two-room apartment with your buddies and brother, then? Most guys our age are married with kids and jobs.
*Chuck closes his eyes and does't answer.*
Evil Chuck: And why ain't you become a great writer, like you wanted to?
*Chuck's eyelids squeeze together. He frowns deeply.*
Chuck: *Whispers* Go away...
Evil Chuck: And miss all the fun?
Chuck: *Swallows hard and opens his eyes a little* What...fun?
Evil Chuck: Seeing you squirm without that big, bad ape of a brother nearby.
Chuck: Slip... *frowns, but notices his evil double's split lip* He did that?
Evil Chuck: Yeah. Wish that damn Jones had never taught him how to hit like that.
*Chuck grins a little.*
Evil Chuck: What's with Jones, anyway? He some kind of medium or somethin'?
Chuck: Or somethin'. He can see spirits. Remember Edgar?
Evil Chuck: Edgar? That weren't real!
Chuck: Sach thought he was.
Evil Chuck: Yeah, well, we've all sorta questioned his sanity over the years.
Chuck: Sach is a good guy, sane or not.
Evil Chuck: He's an idiot.
Chuck: No, he isn't.
Evil Chuck: Ain't your brother always sayin' so?
Chuck: He just says that. He doesn't mean it.
Evil Chuck: They're coming here now, you know. (Smirks) They'll never get past my traps.
Chuck: Traps?
Evil Chuck: All over the place. (Smirks) And you're gonna help me.
Chuck: Help you? No, I won't!
Evil Chuck: Oh, but you don't have a choice. You're in my domain now, pip squeak.
Chuck: *Makes a face* This is MY brain, you bastard.
Evil Chuck: And I'm a part of it.
(Fade out as Chuck turns away and Evil Chuck smirks. The camera fades back in on yellow path that winds through acres of green fields.)
Sach: I didn't know Chuckie's mind was so BIG.
Butch: I wish we had a map.
Slip: I wish I had a gag for you two.
Sach: (Points to the tower in the distance, on the highest hill) Hey, lookit that castle! It looks like somethin' out of an old fairy-tale book!
Slip: *His eyes narrow* He's in there. C'mon... *Storms forward*
(Suddenly, as the mists separate, we see two shapely female forms in the path. Sheila, wearing a red dress, materializes first.)
Sheila: Hello, boys.
Slip: *Groans* Damn.
*Zelda materializes next, wearing a purple dress.*
Sheila: What's your rush?
Sach: (Frowns) Guys, there's somethin' wrong here...
Slip: No kiddin'. They're lookin' at us like slabs of meat.
Sheila: (Gently pulls Slip into her arms) Hello there, handsome.
Slip: *Raises an eyebrow* Handsome? Yer usually repulsed by me.
Sheila: Tonight, I find you...interesting.
Sach: Chief...
Slip: *Considers* Yeah? How interestin'?
Sheila: Very...intriguing.
Slip: *Smirks* So're you.
Sheila: Tell me more about me...
*Meanwhile, Zelda runs her fingers along Butch’s neck and jaw.*
Sach: (His eyes widen) Guys, there's somethin' that ain't right...
(Butch starts running his hands over Zelda's sides!)
*Zelda lays her head on Butch's shoulder.*
(Butch can't help his sigh.)
Sach: Guys, they're evil!
Slip: *Grins at Sheila* Be evil to me.
Sheila: I thought you'd never ask. (She gently raises his hair and kisses his forehead with a smirk.)
*Slip's eyes start to blink, his eyelids growing heavy. Finally, he slumps to the ground, asleep. Zelda kisses Butch on the forehead.*
Sach: (As both young men slump to the ground) Guys!
Sheila: (Turns to Zelda) It worked. I knew those silly men would be foolish enough to fall for our charms.
Zelda: Isn't it lovely?
Sach: No! Let them go!
Sheila: Not at all. We can't have them foiling all of our plans.
Zelda: That's right. Besides, this is YOUR subconscious.
Sach: We ain't in my mind! We're in Chuck's! (Grins) My mind would have a lot more ice cream sodas.
Zelda: How lovely.
Sach: How can I wake 'em up?
Zelda: Like we're going to tell you.
Sach: (Holds up a fist) How about now?
Zelda: Nope.
Sach: You're gonna tell me...or I'll find a way to turn ya into frogs or somethin'. (Grins) You'd look much better that way.
Zelda: And we'll just disappear on you.
Sach: (Puts a hand on Zelda's arm; he frowns) You don't really like-like Chuck. Not like Rachel does. He's just another guy for you. Just a passin' thing. You like whatever happens to look good to you at the moment.
Zelda: Maybe.
Sach: (Glares at Sheila) I ain't even touchin' you. You don't care about nuthin' but yourself. I'd just get my hands dirty.
Sheila: That's how it is in my world, silly man.
Sach: That ain't how my world works. You ugly old hags wouldn't know how to treat a friend if one bit ya on the butt!
Sheila: Hag?
Zelda: I think we need to do something with him.
Sheila: So do I.
Sach: Oh...oh man...