(We open in a large garage in Harlem. The Boys surround their beloved jalopy, whom they've nicknamed "Lucy." A pair of short legs are sticking out from under Lucy.)

Butch: Hey Scruno, how long is it gonna take to fix her this time?

Slip: We got a long vacation in front of us, an’ I don't wanna need Sach to deform his magic on her.

Scruno: *Rolls out from under the jalopy* She's all ready, fellas. And don't you worry, Slip, she's runnin' like a greyhound.

Slip: Now, that's what I wanna hear.

Sach: I don't mind, Chief! Nobody does magic on cars like ol' Scruno.

Butch: You sure you can't come with us, Scruno? We miss you joinin' us.

Slip: Just ain't the same without ya.

Chuck: It's gonna be a great trip.

Scruno: I'd love to fellas,, but I think I'd miss my woman too much.

Whitey: Boy, you sure are lucky to have her.

Butch: Yeah! You're really crazy about her, ain't ya?

Scruno: Of course I am! And she'd have my hide if I left without her.

Sach: (Grins at Slip) The Chief is glad Sally's goin' to Niagara Falls with Louie n' Mama. That way, he don't have to miss HIS woman.

Slip: *Folds his arms* Yeah, I'm glad she's comin' along.

Scruno: Maybe you might end up married like me some day, Chief.

Sach: That's what all of us keep saying!

Slip: *His face turns two shades of red* C'mon, boys, let’s load up.

Butch: (Nods) Right. (Whispers to Chuck) Do you think it's possible that they might get married someday?

Chuck: *Whispers back* Stranger things have happened. I think it's possible.

Butch: (As he climbs into the back) I'd almost be afraid to ask what their kids would be like. And you'd be their uncle.

Chuck: *Climbs in next to Butch* At least I'd get to leave.

Slip: *Climbs into the driver's seat and turns to Butch and Chuck* What're you two whisperin' about?

Chuck: Nothin'.

Butch: Nothin', Dad.

Slip: Don't call me that.

*Whitey climbs in next to Butch.*

Slip: *As Chuck and Butch chuckle* SAAAACH!

Scruno: I think the Chief wants you, Sach.

Sach: Yes, Chief? (Runs over to him)

Slip: Get in so we can go, before I decide to make you walk.

Scruno: *Waves* Have a good trip, fellas!

Sach: (Waves to Scruno) Bye, Scruno! Say hi to the missus for me! (He climbs over the door and lands head-first next to Slip) Oh Chief, I lost my head!

Butch: (Moves his face away from Sach's flailing feet) Hey, be careful! You almost took my eye out!

Slip: If only we were that lucky.

Whitey: Hold on, Sach! I can help! *reaches down into the seat to help Sach right himself*

Sach: Thanks, Whitey! You're a pal! (Leans over and hugs him)

Whitey: Anything for my friend Sach!

*Slip rolls his eyes and starts up the jalopy. For once, Lucy starts smoothly.*

Slip: Not bad, Scruno, not bad at all!

Sach: You done good, my friend! (Points ahead) Well, tallyho, an' all that stuff!

*Slip backs the jalopy out of the garage and pulls out onto the street.*

Sach: How long is it gonna take us to get to Niagra Falls?

Slip: A couple hours. At least Lucy's runnin' faster than when Louie took her to Coney Island. Three hours to go twelve miles ain’t exactly speedy.

Sach: Maybe she just needs a new engine.

Slip: All she needs in for Scruno to fix 'er an’ for you to leave 'er alone.

Sach: Geez, you don't have to get grouchy!

Butch: Did Louie tell you where we're staying at Niagra Falls, Slip?

Slip: I forget the name, but he said it has a distinct view of the falls. *pulls out a piece of paper* I got the address written down here...

Chuck: I can't wait to see the view.

Sach: I bet it'll be beautiful! (Grins) I'm gonna see the falls when I go over it with a barrel.

Slip: Yer what?

Sach: I'm gonna go over the Falls in a barrel. And none of you are gonna stop me!

Whitey: But Sach...

Chuck: Sach, that's dangerous!

Slip: Sach, just promise me ya won't forget yer life jacket.

Sach: I think it sounds like fun! And it'll be a great way to get a picture of the falls for the newspaper! And no, I won't forget my life jacket, Chief! (He tsks) You're gettin' as bad as Louie!

Slip: *Smirks* Louie wouldn't let ya go over the falls.

Sach: Well, I don't care what he says! The Express-Tribune is giving a hundred dollars for a good shot of Niagra Falls from the inside, and I'm gonna get the best shot from as inside as you're gonna get!

Slip: I'm glad ya have a goal, Sach.

*An hour later on the road, the boys are amusing themselves while Slip drives. Suddenly, Slip starts to sniff.*

Slip: What's that smell?

Sach: (Sniffs) I don't smell anything.

Butch: Slip, did you run over a squirrel back there?

Slip: I didn't run over nutin'.

Chuck: I hope don't have a leak.

Whitey: I can't smell anything.

Slip: I definitely smell som'en. *He takes a quick glance at Sach and glowers.* SAAACH!

Sach: What, Chief?

Slip: Put yer shoes back on!

Sach: What? Why? My feet need to wiggle!

Slip: Do ya want yer feet to wiggle or yer driver stay conscientious?

Chuck: Sach, please just put your shoes back on.

Sach: Aw, ok. (Makes a face) But don't complain if I have trouble walkin' later because my feet are stiff.

Slip: I won't be complainin'.

*The jalopy hits a bump. Slip starts having a hard time keep Lucy under control.*

Sach: (He almost ends up in Slip's lap) Whoa, Chief! Quit rockin' the boat!

Slip: I ain't doin' it on purpose! An' get back on yer side! *He forces Lucy off the side of the road, but not without a lot of difficulty, then climbs out to see what's wrong; groans* Dammit!

Sach: (Leans over the door) What's wrong?

Slip: Flat tire...like yer head.

Chuck: Oh no!

Sach: Well, let's fix it, then! We got a new tire from Scruno, right?

Whitey: *Nods* Yeah, there's one back here.

Slip: Hurry n’ put it on! We gotta get movin'!

Sach: Come on, Whitey! We gotta fix poor Lucy.

*Whitey hops out to help Sach.*

Butch: (As the two climb out and look for the tool box) Hey Slip, why don't we have lunch? I sure am starvin'!

Slip: I'd rather make sure these two don't make the car worse.

Chuck: *Grabs Slip's arm* No, I think you'd rather eat. I can hear your stomach from here.

Slip: *Narrows his eyes at Chuck* I don't need you to decide for me.

Butch: They know what they're doing, Slip. Come on. We wanna eat!

Chuck: They'll work quicker without you hoverin' over them.

Slip: Fine.

(Butch leans into Lucy and pulls out a basket.)

Butch: I'm glad we kept this in back, instead of letting Sach hold it like he wanted to. There might not be anything left!

Chuck: There definitely wouldn't be anything left.

Butch: Don't forget the blanket, guys!

Chuck: I got it! *Reaches into the back and pulls out a large blanket.*

*Slip just folds his arms.*

Butch: Come on, Chief. I know you packed us a good lunch. (Nods at the green strip along the road, next to some woods) And it's so pretty here! You don't get views like this in the city. Not even in Central Park!

Slip: I s'pose.

Chuck: Slip, I know you can appreciate this. Besides, I doubt even you would think we'd get through this whole drive without somethin' goin' wrong.

Slip: Alright, alright. Yer right, Chuck.

Chuck: Great. Now let’s have our share of the food, before Sach and Whitey join us and finish whatever's left.

Butch: (He hands out the sandwiches) Oh good, you remembered to label them, Chief. (Checks his) Oh yeah, ham and cheese!

Slip: Natterally. *grabs a roast beef*

Chuck: I still don't know why you don't make food more often, Slip. *pulls out a sandwich* Oh, turkey!

Slip: Because. *takes a bite of his sandwich*

Chuck: Got any chips? *looks into the basket* I found 'em. *He pulls out a bag of potato chips and sets it in the middle of the blanket.*

Butch: (He reaches into the bag) This sure is peaceful. (Winces as we hear a loud "thump" and a "yeowch!") Except for those two.

Slip: I was tryin' to forget them.

Sach: (Off-camera; wails) Ooww! Whitey, why did 'ya have to go and drop the crowbar on me?

Whitey: I didn't mean to, Sach! It slipped outta my hand!

Sach: Well, find a way to glue it to your hand!

Whitey: But what if you wanna use it, Sach?

Sach: That's your problem!

Slip: *Gives Chuck and Butch a dull glare* An' you two wonder why I wanted to keep an eye on them.

Butch: They'll be fine, once Sach's hand heals.

Chuck: Unless somethin' worse happens before they finish.

Butch: Chuck! (Nudges him) Don't say things like that!

Chuck: Hey! It might be true!

Slip: Great, now I gotta ignore you two now.

Sach: (He and Whitey join them, dusty but happy) Well, it was a dirty job, but we got it done. Didn't we, Whitey?

Whitey: We sure did! *puts an arm around Sach* Nice work, Sach!

Slip: Lucy still in one piece?

Sach: Of course she is! We just put the tire back on! (Tsks) You sound like you don't trust us! Your own pals!

Slip: I don't.

Sach: You can inspect her yourself after we eat. (He leans over Slip, looking for his sandwich) Which one's mine?

Slip: *Swats at Sach* It's got yer name on it, and don't lean over me! *He goes to inspect the jalopy.*

Sach: (Grabs the one with his name on it and hands Whitey one) I wonder what the Chief packed me? (He grins) Oooh, cream cheese and jelly! My favorite! Hey Whitey, what did you get?

Whitey: I got tuna.

Sach: So Chief, is everything to your likin'?

Slip: She's still in one piece.

Sach: See? I told you we wouldn't hurt Lucy! She's our baby!

Butch: Hey Slip, what did you pack for yourself?

Sach: (Between mouthfuls of sandwich) And can I have some of it? I'm hungry!

Slip: Touch anythin' wit' my name on it, Sach, an’ yer gonna have a new name - Lefty.

Sach: I thought my name was Horace.

Butch: (Leans in the basket) Ooh, there's apples, too! (He grabs one) Thanks, Chief!

Chuck: *Also grabs an apple as Slip continues his inspection of Lucy* I just don't get him. Slip's so good with food, but it's like pullin' teeth with him to get him to make anything.

Butch: He probably thinks it's a dame thing.

Sach: I don't care if it's a dame thing or a darn thing or a whatever thing! We gotta get Slip to make us food more often. We can only ask our mothers so often before they kick us out, an' Louie keeps askin' for money.

Chuck: Speaking of Louie, I wonder how he, Mama, and Sally are fairing in their ride to the Falls?

Sach: He told me they were gonna take that new highway they just finished. (He makes a face) I'll bet that's not much fun.

Whitey: Yeah, they're probably there already.

Sach: Yeah, but we get to have lunch in this nice little spot! (He takes a deep sniff) Smell that country air! It's sure different than the Bowery!

Chuck: That's because this air is clean.

(That's when a sleek red roadster stops alongside Lucy. In the car is a beautiful blond in a tight dress and large hat. She leans out of the driver's side of the car.)

Woman: Having a little trouble, Big Boy?

Slip: Nah, I... *looks up; eyes widen* aye yi yi...

Woman: What's wrong? Did that hunk of junk spring a leak?

Slip: Flat tire... *moves over to her car* Do you normally stop and talk to strangers on the side of the road?

Woman: I thought you looked like you could use some help with your (coughs) vehicle.

Slip: My vehicle's just fine... *nods* Yours ain't so bad either.

Woman: Isn't it marvelous? I just got it earlier this summer.

Slip: Big car for such a little girl like yerself. Oughtta find yerself someone to drive ya around.

Woman: I can drive myself. (Smirks) But if you're ever free...

Sach: Oh Chiefy! (He appears next to Slip, waving his cream cheese and jelly sandwich) Don'cha wanna eat? (Tips his baseball cap at the woman, his motor lips going)

Woman: Well, aren't you charming? (Grins at Slip) Is this your friend?

Slip: *Glares at Sach* Ex-friend.

Sach: (Lightly pushes Slip) Oh Chief, you are a card! (He grabs Slip in a hug) He's my best friend in the world, and sometimes Brooklyn.

Slip: *Growls* Saaaach...

Woman: (Laughs) Well, why don't I leave you boys to your lunch? Where are you heading, anyway?

Slip: Niagara Falls. Maybe we'll see you there?

Woman: You sure will! I'm going there, too. I'm meeting friends there.

Slip: *Wide grin* Well, ain't that som'en!

Sach: Yeah, she's goin' to the same place we are, and she has friends! (He leans against her car) Do all your friends look like you?

Woman: Oh, I don't know. Some look better.

Sach: (He shakes Slip's arm) Chiefy, let's go to Niagra Falls right now!

Slip: *Slaps Sach's hand off his arm* Where do ya think we're headed?

Woman: You two are crazy. I like you. (She hands them a piece of paper) This is the name and number of my hotel. Look me up when you're in Niagra Falls, and maybe we'll try to get together.

Slip: Indubiously.

Sach: Let's do that! And bring all of your friends! I'd like to meet them!

Woman: Oh, I will. (She laughs again) I'll see you later! (She drives off, leaving the boys alone next to the car.)

Sach: What a woman! And did you see that car?

Slip: *Staring after, fingering the paper* I saw...

Sach: (Smacks Slip's shoulder) Hey, you have Sally! Give another guy a chance!

Slip: *Turns to reflexively smack Sach, but pauses* I forgot about Sally!

Sach: If she sees you with that girl, do you know what she'll do to you?

Slip: *Makes a face* Nutin' pretty. *Golds the paper out to Sach* Take it. Don't let me look at it, no matter what.

Sach: Oh, I won't, Chief. (He kisses the paper) Gorgeous girl, here I come!

*Slip frowns as he and Sach rejoin the others as they're picking up.*

Butch: (He's finishing off his apple) What was that all about?

Sach: Oh boy, you won't believe this! A gorgeous girl in a red roadster came up to us and gave us her address in Niagra Falls! I already have a date, and we haven't even gotten there yet!

*Slip just rolls his eyes and lets out a sigh.*

Chuck: But wasn't she talkin' to Slip first?

Sach: Chiefy already has a date. He can't have two dates. Sally won't like it.

Slip: Just keep remindin' me, Sach.

Chuck: He's right, Slip.

Slip: I can't look?

Sach: You can look, but don't touch! (He hugs the paper) I get to touch. Oh boy, do I get to touch!

Slip: *Slaps Sach* I get to touch, too! Lets get goin' already!

*The jalopy pulls up in front of a four-story hotel. In the near distance we see a bridge. Just beyond that is the Falls.*

Slip: Here we are, boys.

Sach: Oh boy! We're here! We've made it! (He jumps out) Make sure to tip the bellman well, Chief. You know what a big tipper I am.

Slip: So you tip 'im.

Sach: Sure! (He hands the young man who comes outside a dime) Here you go, my good man. Take our bags to Room 34. It's on the third floor, you know.

Young Man: Um...I'm not a bellboy. I'm here to take your car (makes a face at Lucy) to the garage.

Slip: Just drive her, she won't bite ya.

Young Man: (Mutters as he takes the keys from Slip) You sure 'bout that? (He does manage to get Lucy in the opposite direction)

Sach: That man doesn't appreciate a fine vehicle like Lucy.

Slip: No one does. (He nods at the hotel) C'mon, lets go get our room key.