(We open just as the children settle down in the auditorium. Sach comes out in front of the closed curtain. He wears his Victorian costume.)

Sach: Greetin's, salutations, and hi, everyone! We're here to tell ya the story of "A Christmas Carol." Now first of all, ya gotta remember, the Marleys were dead to begin with. Their old partner, Ebeneezer Scrooge, signed the burial receipt, and his name was as good as anythin'. Keep that in mind, or this ain't gonna seem as magical. Now, we should meet Scrooge right about... (Slip, wearing a white wig and older make-up, storms out of stage left)...now. (He storms behind the curtain.) Yeah, that was Scrooge. Pleasant fellow, ain't he? Why don't we go see what he's up to?

*We see Slip enter the counting house and slam the door behind him. The "walls" rattle from the slam. He eyes the "room" in disgust.*

Chuck: (He looks over his shoulder at Slip fearfully from his tall stool and desk on the other side of the room) Hello, Mr. Scrooge. Back from your meeting so soon?

Slip: Yeah. *Walks over to him and motions to the fire in the pot-bellied stove* What's that?

Chuck: (Gulps) I...well, it was a little cold in here, sir...

Slip: You used a piece last week! *growls* Get back to work before I go lookin' for someone who doesn't mind workin' in cool air.

Chuck: (Nods) Y...yes, sir! (He returns to work as Sach bursts into the room.)

Sach: Merry Christmas, everyone! (Leans over and gives Slip a huge hug) Merry Christmas, Uncle!

Slip: *Pushes Sach away* Bah! Humbug!

Sach: Christmas a humbug? Surely ya don't mean that?

Slip: If I had my way, every one who went around sayin' "Merry Christmas" would be boiled in his own puddin'!

Sach: Uncle, that's an awful thing to say. I think Christmas is a great time, full of love n' charity, n' good will, and I say god bless it!

Chuck: (Claps) Very nice, Fred!

Slip: *Glares at Chuck, then turns back to Sach* Nephew, you keep Christmas in yer way, an’ I'll keep it in mine...prob'ly not at all, though.

Sach: Maybe it's time you changed that. Come have dinner with Cynthia n’ me tomorrow night.

Slip: I ain't int'rested.

Sach: We're gonna have goose and chestnut dressin' and all the trimmin's! I'm gettin' hungry just talkin' 'bout it! Got anythin' to eat around here? (Looks around)

Slip: *Growls* Nephew...

Sach: Got anythin' in your desk? (Looks in one of Slip's drawers)

(Chuck puts a hand over his mouth to hide his chuckles.)

Slip: *Mutters to Sach* Get outta my desk, before I close yer fingers in the drawers.

Sach: (Moves back) Geez, Chief, it ain't really your desk, you know. We borrowed it from one of the school secretaries.

Slip: *Turns his gaze back to Chuck, who's still chuckling* Well, Bob? Lookin' to spend the holiday unemployed?

Chuck: (Gulps) Uh, no, sir. (He immediately returns to work)

Sach: Uncle, I don't get it. I don't ask nothin' from ya but that you visit Cynthia an' me every now and then. You don't act like I'm alive half the time! Why?

Slip: Because love is the only thing more ridiculous than a Merry Christmas!

Sach: (Sighs) Well, I ain't gonna give up on 'ya. I know you've got a heart in there somewhere. Our door is open for ya if ya wanna show up tomorrow.

Slip: Good day, nephew. *returns to the paperwork on the desk*

Sach: Merry Christmas, Uncle! (As he leaves, three gentlemen in heavy coats and top hats - Whitey, Duke, and Butch - enter.)

Slip: Ahh, customers. Gentlemen, how might I help ya?

Duke: Hello, sir. Do I have the pleasure of addressin' Mr. Scrooge or Mr. Marley?

Slip: Scrooge. Both Marleys have been dead for seven years.

Duke: We have no doubt that they'll be well-represented by their survivin' partner. At this time of year, it's common for many charities to collect funds for the poor to endeavor to buy some meat and drink. Many thousands are in want of common comforts and necessities.

Butch: What'll we put you down for?

Slip: Nutin'.

Butch: You wish to be anonymous, sir?

Slip: *Roars* I wish to be left alone! Since you ask what I wish, gentlemen, that's my answer. I pay taxes for the workhouses and prisons. They cost enough, and those who are badly off oughta go there!

Duke: But many would rather die, sir!

Slip: Then they had better do so, an’ decrease the surplus population!

*Whitey whimpers, hiding behind Duke and Butch.*

Duke: Very well, sir. If that's how you feel.

Butch: (Mutters to Whitey) Don't worry. We'll protect ya.

Slip: Yeah, that's how I feel. Now, be gone wit' ya.

Duke: Merry Christmas, sir.

Slip: Bah humbug.

Chuck: (Goes to them the moment Slip turns his back) Excuse me, gentlemen. (Presses a coin into Duke's hand) I'd like to make a donation. Many people in London don't even have a roof over their heads, and that's not right.

Duke: (Smiles) Bless you, sir. Merry Christmas!

Whitey: Thank you, sir!

Chuck: Merry Christmas to you too, gentlemen! I wish you luck in your collecting! :)

(The three finally head out...joining what looks like a familiar figure in a bonnet and dark cloak. We see wisps of gray-blond hair sticking out from under the cloak and a bit of a ruffled red dress from behind it.)

Chuck: I wonder who the lady was with them? (He's scarcely closed the door when there's a knock on it again.)

(We hear a voice outside, singing "We Wish You a Merry Christmas."

*Slip opens the door upon hearing this. He growls at the kid.*

Kid: (Gulps; then) Um...penny for the song, guv'ner?

Slip: Bah! *slams the door in the kid's face*

Chuck: (Looks up at the clock) Um, the work day is just about done, sir. I have tomorrow off. It's a holiday.

Slip: An' when did I okay that?

Chuck: But sir, everyone else will be closed! There will be no one for you to do business with! (Grins slightly) It'll save a lot of expensive coal for the fire!

Slip: Poor excuses for pickin' a man's pocket every year. *sighs* Very well, you can have yer day, but be here earlier the next morning!

Chuck: Oh, I will, sir! (Grabs his hat and long scarf) And a bah humbug...I mean, a Merry Christmas to you, sir!

Slip: Humbug!

(Chuck hurries out of the counting house and into the main London set. Several children run around. Sach has a couple with him. Bobby, also wearing gray hair and aging makeup, limps behind him.)

Sach: Look whom I found, Bob! Your kiddies have been dyin' for Papa to come home. (Nods at Bobby) An' he's an old buddy of your employer's.

Bobby: (Nods) Yes, I am. Dick Wilkins. Knew your uncle well when he kept accounts for old Fezziwig's Tavern and Bakery. Now I run the establishment with my own family.

Chuck: *Shakes Bobby's hand* It's a pleasure to meet you, sir.

Tiny Tim: (A little boy with dark hair on a crutch tugs on Chuck's scarf) We've been lookin' in store windows while we wait for you, Papa! We knew you'd come out soon!

Chuck: *Kneels down to give the boy a hug* How are you feeling, Tim? Did you have fun?

Tiny Tim: (Nods) I'm fine, Father. Not a bit tired! Who could be tired on Christmas Eve? (Nods at Sach) My sisters n' Mr. Fred were tellin' me 'bout Father Christmas!

Sach: Yeah, he comes to all the good little kids tonight.

Chuck: That's wonderful, Tim. You listen to Mr. Fred. He knows what he's talking about.

Tiny Tim: I'm sure he does. He seems very nice. (He looks up at Chuck) Are we going to have a pudding, Papa, an' a goose?

Girl #1: We all know Mr. Scrooge hasn't been paying you much...

Chuck: We're going to have it all. You can count on that.

Bobby: (Sighs) It's a real shame. Scrooge used to be a rather nice fellow. He worked with me at Fezziwig's. He was really involved with his daughter for a time, but they...well, they broke it off in the end.

Tiny Tim: I think he'd be happier if he had a nice family of his own.

Chuck: *nods* I think so, too. It isn't right for anyone to be alone for Christmas.

Chuck: That's why I continue to work for him. I have hope that someday he will change his mind about people and Christmas.

Sach: I do, too. I'll keep invitin' him to see Cynthia and me until the end of time or next Christmas, whichever comes first.

Girl #1: Maybe we'd better get home, Papa, before Mama worries.

Tiny Tim: And before the goose gets cold!

Chuck: Yes, we'd best be on our way. Master Fred, good to see you as always. I hope you & Cynthia have a very Merry Christmas.

Sach: I hope you an' your family do, too!

Bobby: It was nice meeting you!

Chuck: Good to meet you too, Mr. Wilkins.

Sach: (Turns to the audience as the lights darken over the set) And so, as the rest of London went home to their families, Mr. Scrooge went to the big, ugly old house he lived in. It used to belong to his partners, Jacob and Robert Marley. Since it was an old house, it had a real big, fancy door knocker.

*Slip walks up to the door and reaches out to put his key in the lock and glances at the knocker. He gasps as the knocker becomes hazy.*

(When the haze dissipates, we see what appears to be Buddy's face in the knocker! He lets out a tinny, pre-recorded "Scrooooogggee" before fading away.)

Slip: Jacob Marley? *shakes his head* Bah humbug! *turns the knob and goes in; slams the door closed after him*

*Inside, Slip climbs the staircase to the second floor and enters the first room, disappearing momentarily. Moments later, he comes back out in a nightshirt and robe, his usual hat still on his head. He goes into the next room and takes up a seat by the fireplace, enjoying the silence of the room. However, the quiet moment is broken by a small bell ringing over the mantel. Slip looks up, having felt no wind to cause the bell to ring. He holds his breath as he glances about the room.*

Slip: Who's there?

(That's when we hear ghostly noises from outside the room. Suddenly, two whitish figures wearing tangled "chains" trip over each other, through the door, and into the room)

Slip: *Tries to not roll his eyes too obviously; frowns* Jacob and Robert Marley? No, this can't be!

Buddy: (Mutters) Junior, your chains are caught in mine!

Junior: *Mutters, tugging on the chains* No, yours are caught in mine!

Slip: *this time he does roll his eyes* Bah! I don't believe it! Yer a mere figment of my imagination!

Buddy: (As they finally get to their feet) Why do you doubt your senses, Scrooge?

Slip: Because anything can make them cheat! You are no more than some undigested food from dinner, or even lunch. There's more of gravy than of grave of you!

Junior: *Groans* That was a terrible joke.

Buddy: In life, we were your partners, Jacob and Robert Marley.

Slip: *Sneers* I don't believe in you! Be gone wit' you!

Buddy: (He and Junior let out as terrible of groans as they can, then Buddy exchanges looks with Junior) Maybe we should take off our bandages, just to show him how much business we mean.

*Slip's eyes widen a little.*

Junior: *Nods* I think it's necessary.

(Both boys do...and their jaws appear to literally drop to the floor!)

Slip: *Not expecting the visual effect, gives a yelp before steeling himself again* You... you... you aren't real! You can't be!

Buddy: (Ties his bandage back around his mouth) We're real, Scrooge. And we're here to warn you.

Junior: *Reties his bandage as well* We wear the chains he forged in life, for every cruel and rotten thing we did. Now we must forever bear these chains!

Slip: What's this gotta do wit' me, hmmmm?

Buddy: You wear chains too, Scrooge...an' yours are even longer an' heavier than ours!

Slip: *Actually looks around on himself before making a face that he fell for it* I wear no chains. Speak comfort, spirits.

Buddy: Tonight, you will be haunted by three spirits.

Junior: And without these visits, you cannot avoid this path of chains. Expect the first ghost when the bell tolls one!

Slip: Jacob...Robert...ya gotta help me. Tell 'em to come back durin' the summer!

Buddy: Sorry, Scrooge. That's their busy season. It's tonight or nothin'.

Slip: But...

Buddy: (He and Junior start towards the door) Farewell, Scroo....yow! (Their chains are still tangled. They trip over each other again, landing on the floor in a heap)

*Slip sighs, rolling his eyes again. Buddy and Junior are eventually dragged through the door. Slip picks up the candle from the table and proceeds to check around the room. Finding nothing, he stops in the middle of the room and places his empty hand over his stomach.*

Slip: I shouldn't have stopped out for dinner. *shakes his head as he places the candle on the nightstand* Bah humbug! *snuffs out the candle, then climbs onto the bed and draws the curtains with a bit too much gusto. The stage curtains are drawn moments after Slip draws the bed curtains. We switch to back stage where everyone is bustling, except for Slip, who comes off stage, scowling.*

Sach: (He turns to Slip) What's wrong? That went pretty well.

Slip: Didn't you see those two trippin' over each other?

Sach: Well, if you were a ghost draggin' long chains, you'd probably trip over them every now and then, too. (Grins) Aren't you proud of me? I remembered all my lines!

Slip: Yeah, great.

Sach: An' I even remembered where I was supposed to stand!

*Slip just grunts.*

Sach: What's wrong, Chief? Are you still feelin' low?

Slip: What's wit' all of you an’ that?

Sach: What's with you an' the grouchiness? You usually like the holidays! Everyone's noticed it! It's hard not to notice.

Slip: Sach, I ain't in the mood, a'right?

Sach: Why? Aren't ya havin' fun?

Slip: That's got nutin' to do wit' it.

Sach: Then what?

Slip: *Scowls deeper* I said I ain't in the mood! *stomps off, back toward the stage to take his mark*

Chuck: *joins Sach* Anything?

Sach: (Shakes his head) Nope. I don't get it. What's eatin' him? He ain't been fun for weeks!

Chuck: Ever since he left the hospital. He wasn't even this bad after his accident several years ago.

Sach: Do you think it has to do with that play an' how those mean ladies fooled him?

Chuck: I'm thinking that's at least part of it. I just have no idea how to get through to him. He's never been this closed up before. I just...I don't know what to do.

Sach: I don't, either. I've been tryin' an' tryin'. There has to be a way!

Chuck: He won't let anyone get close enough! Who's closer to him than you and me?

Sach: Sally.

Chuck: She hasn't had the best luck getting through to him, either. If only we could find a chink in his armor, we might stand a chance.

Sach: I wish there was somethin' we could do. (Sighs as the house lights dim) It's up to Sally right now. You an' I ain't in the second act.

Chuck: *Sighs* I just hope he doesn't get worse.