(We open in the lobby of a very old Broadway theater, probably dating from the Victorian era. It's strewn with cobwebs, some real, some fake, spiders, skeletons, stuffed bats, and dusty antique furniture. Sach comes in first, dressed as a clown. He takes one look at the lobby and turns around...but Butch, wearing his Army uniform, stops him.)
Butch: What's your rush?
Sach: I...uh...gee, I forgot I left the oven on. I have to turn it off! (He tries to get through the door, but two more people come in before he can.)
Slip: *Wears an all black suit with a red carnation and matching bow tie and bow fedora with a red hat band* Where you goin'?
Butch: Slip, grab him. He's chickening out, just like you said.
Slip: *grabs Sach's arm* Yer stayin'.
Chuck: *sighs, folding his arms; he wears his army dress uniform* Sach, it's just decorations!
Sach: Tell that to my shakin' knees.
Butch: (Makes a face) Actually, I can kind of understand why Sach is scared. I've always thought this theater was a little spooky, even when I played radio shows here as a kid.
Whitey: *wears an apron & a paper hat; nods* It is kinda spooky.
Sach: I wish it was still a radio station. It would be less spooky with Superman and the Lone Ranger around.
Butch: (Jumps) What's that?
Sach: (He grabs Slip) It's a ghost! He's gonna kills us!
Slip: Geddoffame!
Butch: (Gulps as we hear "wooo" noises) Slip, tell me that's the wind.
Slip: It's the wind.
(That's when four figures jump out at once and yell "Booga booga!" Everyone but Slip jumps a mile!)
Sally: (Doubles over laughing in her red gingham dress and red cape and hood) You guys were so funny!
Rachel: (She wears a women's Army Nurse uniform) You should have seen yourselves!
Slip: It was pretty funny.
Sach: (As he climbs out of Slip's arms) I don't see what's so funny. You nearly scared me out of my red squeaky nose!
Butch: Yeah! What are ya tryin' to do, give us heart attacks?
*Whitey gasps for air.*
Sally: (Shakes her head) We got here before you did and decided to have some fun. (Turns to Slip and pulls a stuffed wolf out of a wicker basket on a table near them) Hey woodsman, wanna see my wolf?
Slip: *Smirks* It's cute. *leans closer to her and whispers* If you have that wolf lick me, you gotta return the favor later.
Sally: (Smirks) We'll share a lollypop at Uncle Louie's.
Slip: I can live with that.
Butch: (He smiles at Jane's green and gold gown and rhinestone tiara) You look beautiful, Princess Jane! (He bows for her)
Jane: *Blushes* Aw. Well, you're quite handsome, my soldier.
Chuck: *Smiles at Rachel* You look wonderful, Rach.
Rachel: Thank you. I guess you don't have any wounds that need dressing.
Chuck: *Shakes his head* I sorta didn't want to relive this. That's why I opted for the dress uniform.
Rachel: This is about all I could afford. The other girls borrowed theirs from friends or costume stores.
Chuck: *Takes Rachel's hand and kisses it* You're beautiful.
Rachel: And you're the best looking guy in the army. (Kisses him)
Marsha: (She wears a rather low-cut French maid's dress and cap and carries a feather duster; dusts Whitey's nose) You're so cute. I wanna work in the same kitchen as you.
*Whitey just nods, jaw on the floor.*
Sach: Can we all get goin'?
Slip: Let’s go.
Sach: (As they go into the main theater, which is lit by dim lamps all around the main room - there's cobwebs all over here, too) I wish they'd hire a maid. (Sneezes) Everything's so dusty!
Butch: I don't think this place has been used since the radio station moved out. I heard they were going to knock it down next year.
Slip: They musta figgered they'd leave all the real dust an' cobwebs ta save money on decorations.
Sach: I wonder when the show's gonna begin?
Butch: No one's performed any non-radio plays on that stage since the early 30s.
Sach: (Plops down in a seat) Hey, these are still pretty comfy. (Something hands him a bowl) Hey, thanks! (He looks into the bowl...and the camera shows us what looks like greenish eyeballs! Sach looks up...and sees a skeleton in the seat next to him! He throws the bowl over his shoulder and runs down the aisle, screaming!)
Butch: What got into him?
Marsha: Yeah! (She shakes the skeleton) Mr. Bones is a fakey! He's just made outta plastic.
Whitey: He's kinda neat.
Butch: (Picks up the bowl) And this is just peeled grapes!
Rachel: It's not like Sach to waste good food.
Sally: Where did he go, anyway?
Slip: *Shrugs* Who knows?
Butch: Let's go onstage!
Rachel: I wonder if they still have all the old costumes here and stuff?
Marsha: Oooh, I'd love to dress like a Victorian star, in all those fancy big gowns!
Whitey: Yeah!
Slip: C'mon. Let’s go check it out.
(Everyone makes their way onto the stage. Butch pushes aside the tattered red velvet curtains. He leans against them...and sneezes a little.)
Butch: For all the dust, this feels really nice. This must have been a truly beautiful curtain at one time.
Sally: (Looks around; most of the backstage is empty except for a few sets and some old microphones) They must have cleared everything out when the radio station left.
Marsha: Eeek! (Points to a bunch of bats swooping down; Jumps into Whitey's arms) Save me!
Sally: (Groans and holds up one bat...revealing it's a fake stuffed bat on a string) Marsha, it's a toy. It's not real. There are no bats like this in New York City.
Whitey: *Grins at Marsha* I'll save you anytime.
Slip: Someone had some fun with this stuff.
Sally: Yeah. They really put a lot of effort into this. The local kids will love it.
*Meanwhile, Chuck is checking out a darkened wall.*
Butch: (Joins him) Found anything, Captain?
Chuck: This wall... *runs his fingers over the wall* I think there was a door here.
Butch: How can you tell?
Chuck: It isn't even.
Rachel: Hey, fellas. What has all of you so entranced?
Butch: Chuck found a door!
Chuck: Just gotta...get it open...
Butch: We'll help. (All three of them grab at the wall. The others join them as the wall starts to move...revealing that yes, there is a door here.)
Slip: What's behind the door?
Sally: Let's find out. (She peers into the darkness.)
(Cut to inside a very dark room. Suddenly, a light turns on...revealing a small, dusty, cobwebby room filled with crates, trunks, and boxes.)
Sally: Maybe we found an old storage room.
Marsha: I wonder if the trunks open? (She kneels in front of one and shoves at it; it opens with a loud creak) Wow, look at these! (Pulls out a fragile, tattered, but still lovely pink silk gown)
Whitey: What else is in there?
Slip: *Grabs at cobwebs* This room's seen better days.
Butch: (He pulls out a green silk gown and hands it to Jane) I think you'd look really elegant in this.
Jane: *Takes the green gown in her arms* Wow!
Sally: I wish half of these weren't falling apart. I'd like to keep a few myself.
Slip: Take 'em. You could dress as a zombie.
Sally: But we don't know whom these belong to.
Butch: Yeah! I have no idea who bought this building after CBS left.
Slip: But no one took this stuff with them.
*Chuck leans into a closet at the back of the room, shuffling through some items.*
Rachel: (She's going through another trunk) Find anything good, honey?
Sally: (Pulls out a pair of red shoes covered with tarnished sequins) Wow, I feel like Judy Garland!
Chuck: There's some interesting suits...
*Chuck leans in a little further... then seems to fall into the closet!*
Rachel: Chuck! (She screams into the closet) Chuck! Where...
(Suddenly, two hands grab Rachel and drag her into the closet, too!)
Butch: (Looks up; hears Rachel scream) Rachel?
Marsha: (She runs to the closet) They ain't here!
Sally: Where could they have gone?
Slip: In the closet?
Marsha: Look! (She pulls back suits in the closet...to reveal another door)
Butch: A secret passage!
Sally: (Moves back against the door) This is getting weird...
Slip: I don't agree wit' someone's sense-a humor.
Butch: Maybe Sach was right about this place...
(Sally's looking around, spooked, when the door opens. Two hands reach out and grab her. Two more yank her torso, and two more her legs. They all pull her, wide-eyed and muffled under the hands, behind the door.)
Marsha: What was that?
Whitey: What was what?
Slip: *Looks around* Where's Sal?
Marsha: (Looks around, her eyes wide) She's gone! She ain't here!
Butch: This is worse than an Agatha Christie novel!
Slip: This is ridiculous!
Marsha: (Grabs Whitey) Oh sweetie, I'm scared!
*Whitey holds Marsha tight.*
Butch: (He takes Jane's hand) Let's get outta here.
Jane: *Nods* Yeah!
Marsha: We've gotta find the others, then get out as soon as we can!
Whitey: Sooner than that!
Butch: (He goes to the door...but it won't open) Guys, the door's locked!
Slip: What? *joins Butch at the door; tugs on it himself* This is crazy.
Marsha: How are we gonna get out?
Butch: The passage. It's the only way.
Slip: *Growls* Let’s go. *heads for the closet and through the passage*
Butch: (Takes Jane's hand) Hold on tight, honey.
Jane: I'm holding on!
(They follow Slip next. Marsha shudders as they watch them go through the passage.)
Marsha: If we go through this door, promise me you won't disappear!
Whitey: I promise!
Marsha: Ok, then. Let's do it! (They make their way through the door together, Marsha first. We fade out on the dusty, dingy room as Whitey enters the dark passage.)